What has my past days’ been is indeed a mind-boggling experience; nevertheless, the content of the matter is such that it would be wise to keep things with me until I am well-equipped with the right words to explain.
Human being is by far the most complicated specie, our mind which is an amazing gift could become a mystery and an entire life-time is spent or wasted in trying to uncover its intricacies. Recently I have observed this on both personal level as well as a general observation that we get attached to a particular place or a memory or to an illness on a sub-conscious-level. Even though we say that we want to discard that memory or we want a treatment, yet to completely give up that illness or release that memory becomes a subconscious threat to our identity. Who would I be if I don’t have that particular ailment or nobody would care for me after I get well?
Or if I can some how trap myself in that memory I can create fantastical stories out of it and would be able to hold myself in the past; therefore I can live in my comfort zone where I don’t have to face challenges and meet the uncertainties of my future.
In fact we stand in the middle of our freedom and wellness hence we ourselves turn into our own worst enemy. Now the question would be how to deal with such situations and to which I have no definite answer. For me the most important thing is to honestly ask myself the above tough questions because we and only we are aware of what goes within us. I am not just speaking on the superficial level we really need to do some deep digging, we need to accept whatever the answer might be without any judgments or criticism either to our selves or towards what we learn. I guess only by being fully aware of what and how we think, and then accepting it without the judgments is the key.
Once the light of awareness is there the darkness of our thoughts or our mind shall dissolve and we would be at peace. Amen!
In peace and lots of love….
Sonya. (Day 152)
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