These days I am around with newer
generation who are at least 10 or more years younger than me and everywhere I turn
I only hear one comment and that is ‘today’s generation is really difficult to
handle and the situation is going to get worse with upcoming generations’.
Of course every time is different
and it is part of the human evolution but the question is what is that one can do
to gracefully convey your values to this generation and at the same time get
respect from them.
I have to say that parents of 20
year olds or less face a real challenge, most of them don’t have a clue of how
handle their children. Parents believe that their values and standards should
be followed under all situations, while the children are rebellious and have somewhat
disrespectful attitudes.
I always heard about generation
gap but today I can see it more clearly than ever. Parenting is a tough job and
children do not come with a manual, although I wish that they were.
I am not in any position to
comment on such delicate issue but what I have learned and the way I have been
brought up is pretty simple. My parents never pressured me to compete with my
class mates, crazy drive to always get an A plus was never in question.
My mom always maintained a very
open relationship and if there was a problem she is the first one to be
notified. Even if I have made a blunder, she would always listen and together we
tried to find a solution. If I made a stupid mistake then I am always guided in
a tough voice where have I been wrong; however, it was never- ever insulting.
As a child one thing that I always
experienced is my respect as a person.
Today what I see is chaos all
around me. I have realized one amazing fact that children become the mirror image
of their parents. If a parent was at any time in his/her life disrespectful
toward their elders then it is inevitable for them not to experience same thing
with their children.
Nevertheless, parents fail to
recognize their past mistakes and easily find children responsible for the problems.
Nothing happens in a moment it takes years of concentrated behaviour that develops
into an attitude. Suddenly one day you cannot expect to claim the love and
respect from your children when in their early childhood you have either,
verbally or physically abused them.
I think the best way to solve
this problem is to recognize that elders can be wrong to; then try to develop a
relationship of mutual understanding and compassion, at the same time be firm and assert your position with confidence. Try to become friends and involved in some aspects of your child’s life. They might shut you out first
but when you really try to understand their challenges and problems then there
might be a way out.
No ego, no judgment just acceptance
of your child as they are, without forcing them to become some fantasy person
that you have wished them. If your child is loving and kind then you are
luckiest person in the world, nurture that love.
If you have little children then
teach them to meditate, to pray, to give, to be grateful- become the example so
they can follow you.
Love (patience + acceptance +respect)
conquers it all. By the way it is never too late for anything because if you
are alive then it is the right time.
May all the joy be with you.
Sonya. (DAY 434)
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