Day 179

What would you call this condition, when you want to do something, has time to do it but when you actually sit down to do it you simply lack the drive; when 10 things are on mind and you end up doing none if it. Anger, frustration & irritability are undeniably the obvious outcome of such a perturbed mental state. I have taken up few tasks and the depth they require overwhelms me and simply drains my energy.

I could not escape from whatever I needed to do so I stopped doing everything all together, prayed and then focused all my attention on my breathe. At first, the breathing was so irregular that I could hardly breathe. As I concentrated on my breathing within seconds I noticed it becoming soft, regular & subtle. I knew that now I had a proper supply of oxygen to my brain and everything was handled rightly and in much less time than I estimated. I did whatever I had to, plus I had the time to watch my favorite TV show and do a host of other activities.

You would have noticed that if you are angry, anxious or afraid your breathing becomes irregular and runs faster than a speeding bullet. However, the breath becomes regular on its own when we focus on its rhythm, without trying to deliberately change it, just let it be. Resultantly our mental faculties are then better equipped to function in the world.

It has just started to rain and thankfully without any power shut-downs. Karachi’s weather had a pleasant effect after few minutes of heavy rainfall early morning and we can safely say that winter is in no mood of leaving us soon.

In this solitude of the night there is a henna ceremony going on nearby and they are playing Indian film songs and probably the youngest lot are hoofing it to the beats. The night appears to be fun there but not that much in this heavy rainfall.

Dearest ones sorry for this abrupt break but its time to move to the comforts of my bed, sweet dreams…

Sonya. (Day 179)