Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
I am not even surprised with the kind of breaks which I’m taking to write my posts but it is becoming difficult to stay on the PC for long hours mainly because of my sudden cervical pain. These past few days were tough; there were headaches, nausea and slight fever. Probably something is wrong with my posture while sitting or there is some kind of muscle spasm or it is good ol' ‘stress’; stress of God knows what. Sometimes not to have any stress becomes the sole reason of feeling stressed.
By the way finally had the haircut on 5th April, when entire Karachi was shut down due to the strike. What can I say except that I am a brave person, with so much of instability I still managed to travel to the other end of the city.
It was pretty interesting while I was sitting on that purple chair scared like a child on the first day to school. I was unsure of what to expect from my hairstylist Nabila (an immensely simple, down-to-earth person and a true genius) but I knew it has to be funky and wild. Then after a long discussion, we agreed on nothing. She said, “I just want to know what do you want and don’t want, what is going on in your mind. Whatever you will say I won’t listen to you anyway and will do my own thing”.
She contemplated for a moment and said to give me something nice and safe. I showed my surprise at the word “safe”; I told her candidly that I don’t want Safe. I want to rock n roll. She assured me that when she says safe its quite unsafe.
Then we went crazy, she started to move her scissors like a passionate painter begin his painting. A lady who was sitting beside me got really scared but smiled as to what was happening to my hair.
Scissors kept on moving, pulses kept on racing; more than the hair chopping, I was scared of the energy that was working on my hair. The composed lady I was talking to few minutes ago is now possessed by some other powerful entity. Her energy was inexplicable MashaAllah; she went on for a straight one hour standing on her feet with my hair in her hands.
The result of all the above efforts is fantastic, it was all worth it. A much lighter person came through....
Love all of you for all your compliments and appreciation...
Good night & sweet dreams….
Good night & sweet dreams….
Sonya. (Day 188)
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