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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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After so long..

Who would have thought that my next post will be a month later, but what can I say when my mind refused to give me any creative or even writable matter. If I use my laptop for only an hour I get neck pain and then the entire back begins to hurt. Rather than getting me in painful situations my mind blocked everything which I can write or share with all of you. However, now things are better so here I am once again.

A word of advice to all laptop users that if we you have any headaches or backaches or cervical problems then meet a doctor and please switch to old school i.e.“ personal computers”.

So much for the dissatisfaction, when I had a PC I was dying to get a laptop and now when I have a laptop I will be returning to PC soon.

Yesterday I met a lady, who is a multimillionaire with husband, children and even grand children; with sound business in Karachi yet she is seeing two psychiatrists for her depression.

Then I know a girl, being the bread earner in the family of 12 people, and she is unhappy. I, standing somewhere in the middle becomes unhappy and dissatisfied at intervals. The first one can buy whatever she wants and when she wants, can easily go on holidays but all that keeps her happy for a maximum of 48 hours and then the feeling of lack or not having enough erupts. The second one wants to buy a lot, wishes to visit places but can’t afford it, she too gets happy for hardly 48 hours and then the same feeling of Lack appears.

To the third one this reality has hit on the head, making her understand that irrespective of our ideal partners, or children or professional success or money our peace and joy is absolutely independent of any person or thing. People and things or our thoughts, emotions or circumstances being impermanent come and leave us.

Nevertheless, what we all must and should strive for is internal peace, love and joy. Once we get the work done internally, the external will fall in place.

Much has happened during this past month, my Mamo and Mami performed Umrah and returned safely home. I personally went through some highs and lows, however, now everything has been settled.

Very recently I have been offered some substantial litigation work which I turned down keeping in view the law and order situation in the city. If I have wished for a particular type of court work then the work offered to me was ideal. Yet when I came to terms with the fact I realized that, under any circumstances whenever there will be a hearing I have to attend court. Courts do not recognize the tough law and order situations or strikes taking place frequently and unexpectedly anywhere in the city. When you have a case hearing then you have to be there, irrespective of anything.

While I was doing apprenticeship, in times of heavy rains or strikes I would return home immediately leaving everything solely on the senior lawyer and they being accountable for the case stayed as long as it was required. Now I am in the position of that direct responsibility and it was not fair to make promises, which I could not keep.

I think this whining is enough for today and now I shall say Good Night…

love to all.....

Sonya. (Day 198)

Comments

Naved Ahasn said…
Well good one :) and as i know, satisfaction or u can say content is entirely inside oneself and not outside or u can say material. So u can say in a way its how u feel and, how u feel entirely depends upon ur state of mind. But the most important part is that ur state of mind depends on a lot of external factors not internal but remaining content and composed no matter what is the trick of the trade. Stay blessed :)
July 5, 2011 at 10:35 PM
Dr. Sonia Syed said…
Thanks so much Naved. That's exactly what Im trying to say but I must add that one should not depend on the external factors or people or circumstances because all the craziness goes inside and what you see on the outside is only a reflection of our internal state i.e. our mind. Outside is merely an illusion created by our thoughts and once you become an Observer of your thoughts, emotions & circumstances like the sky which sees all the clouds, pictures & images passing by without any judgement or resistance or attachment -- your are free..
Trust me i have learned this the hard way...
July 6, 2011 at 10:42 PM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more