Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Its freezing especially in my
room, I think the temperature of my room is -10 degrees. I wanted to buy a room
heater but I found a short cut. I simply saw the electricity bill of last month
and a wave of heat and extreme sweat went through me.
I have no idea of what is really
happening to this country, when I was little everybody used to tell us that
natural gas is one of the resources which we shall never see a shortage of and
now this gas load shedding. You can live without electricity but how can you
survive without cooked food, if there is no gas how is it possible to live a
life.
What we need is a positive breakthrough
or best a magic wand and all the chaos would turn into peace ….
It is never good idea to make
guesses or to live in ‘wishful-thinking’ state, because when the suspense
breaks and what comes out is not always a surprise but more of a shock.
Few
years ago there was lady lawyer who opened up her independent law firm, in those
days I was working as a legal internee in the same neighborhood. Although we didn’t know each
other personally but I always used to admire her on preparing her own office and
as a gesture of good-will on starting her private firm I sent her a bouquet.
She was not there so I gave it to her assistant.
Next day when I went to meet
her and informed her about the bouquet; oblivious to her expressions she quite innocently replied “Oh! it was you...”
I could not exactly comprehend
what she really felt but understood this much that she expected it to be
someone else.
However, rest of the meeting and
many more of our meetings went extremely well and we developed a good
friendship. She is a wonderful lady, not only that she is beautiful but she is
also a good person.
Coming back to our expectations
or wishes, they are like our shadows the more we run after them the farther
they get away from us.
Good Night my dear ones…
Sonya. (Day 256)
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