Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
What a week it has been....from the
end of the Blessed month of Ramadan, followed by beautiful Eid, to Pakistan’s
66th birthday on 14th August.
So much has changed yet
everything seems to be the same. Sometimes change happen so delicately that
even the person going through it is unaware, nevertheless, it is only at a certain
moment you realize that something is different. That you are different....
Eid and 14th August
used to be completely different when I was a kid, which is not so long ago by
the way. On Eid my friends and I were always committed to give each other
greeting cards which used to have most delightful writings and drawings personally
done by all of us.
To hold something tangible in
your hands like a card has a beautiful feeling, its like your own energy gets
transferred to the other person. SMS, e-cards and Facebook’s ‘Eid Mubarak to
all family & friends’ are no comparison to such personal touches.
Not until too long ago I had a
rule to send Greeting Cards to my friends, family & colleagues. The pleasure to
receive a card by post is amazing. However, these days the kind of cards available are
not for the faint hearted. Every card has a red heart or red flowers and trust
me if sent at a wrong address that can get you in some serious trouble.
I do not want to send those typed
courier cards, there is nothing written by your hand just a sign with blue ball
point...sorry not my cup of tea. Besides these days everybody seems to be so tech
savvy that they believe such efforts are not
worth it. Yes, everything has to have some worth, right!
So gradually I had to give up
this wonderful trend. Unfortunately, something of the sort has also happened to
the 14th of August. There used to be such urgency to buy flags and
to decorate the terrace and balcony. It was not just another holiday which we
spent sleeping rather it used to be a day of celebration second to only
religious festivals.
After all it was the day when we
got our independence. So what has changed? I guess, we grow old and as one
grows old, their mind, their spirit their feeling become aged. Oh yes, we are an
aged nation lacking enthusiasm and gratitude for our Independence.
Today it is only our youth who make
efforts to celebrate this day by wearing Pakistan’s flags and caps and moving
around the city in bikes.
I do not blame anybody but it is
me who has brutally tortured and killed my feelings and the realization that I
am a citizen of the most beautiful country called Pakistan. A country, that has given me with the Grace of
Allah everything: my education, my dignity and my livelihood.
Have a wonderful evening!
Sonya Syed. (Day 441)
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