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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Zero to Hero

It feels odd to write after so much time has elapsed, but one must share how one feels. Until few weeks ago I never actually understood the meaning of growing up or being mature, this was a vague territory for me. Like most of the people who were just riding the waves of their lives, I was also flowing with the flow.
 
A flow when everything is safe and known and there is absolutely no need to become unnecessarily awakened or vigilant about yourself. A flow where we are blindfolded because we don’t want to see anything beyond our self-imposed restrictions or limitations. We are okay with life. That is great, and there is absolutely nothing wrong to live like that, if that's how you want to be.
Nevertheless, what about those sudden moments when we are shaken, jolted to wake up- the moment that suddenly triggers us; suddenly activates our entire life, our body, our mind and our heart. And it is in that moment we realize who we are, what is our real worth, what we truly deserve, where we were, how much we have learned and where we are heading.
The hazy and oblivious aspects of our self unexpectedly become vibrantly clear. It is the moment when we are reminded about our dreams, the dreams that we waived long time ago for the betterment of everyone else.
 
Life becomes clear, our journey and destination appears right in front of us, and the dreams that we once renounced comes to life and start running in our body like fresh blood pumping heart with passion and excitement- a passion that electrifies mind, body and soul- a passion that does not allow one to sleep.
 
Yes, I have found myself. Yes, I have found my dreams, my passions and my enthusiasm. I have learned that it is absolutely fine to have some failures, some falls because you would only fail when you have tried to do something. Making effort towards your goals and falling on your way is better than just sitting in front of TV and watch political talk show.    
 
I respect myself today, I am proud of myself, and about my life so far. True pride does not inflate your ego rather it humbles you. I am also extremely grateful for all my unanswered prayers, for the people who behaved like jerks, and for all the people who have been magnificent. If God hasn't put those negative situations and people in my path I would have never learned to appreciate and pray for the positives. Only the darkness can push you to seek light.
This sounds like an Oscar awards speech but it is my truth.
All I can say is, be good to yourself, treat yourself with love & respect, appreciate yourself, don’t beat yourself or feel guilty about your failures rather appreciate your efforts and your accomplishments- because if you disrespect yourself and live an unhappy life then nobody on this planet can either appreciate you or make you happy.   
Have a blessed weekend...
 
Sonya Syed, (Day 540).
 

Comments

Unknown said…
ma'am this article really gives me a sprite of life.. . only the darkness can push you to seek light.. .that was ssshhh line..
RAO JAMAL NASIR
(law school)
September 26, 2015 at 3:41 PM
Unknown said…
ma'am this is realty give me a sprite to fight with my problems,this is really really good article.
Rao jamal nasir
(LAW SCHOOL)
September 26, 2015 at 3:45 PM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more