Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Oh
my goodness! It feels as though twenty years have passed since I last wrote. Life
has dramatically altered, time is restricted and there is a deep regret that there
are only 24 hours per day. Like it or not, everything has to be managed within this
time-frame. And I have discovered that I have quite poor time management skills.
There
was a time when I ‘was’ so punctual for my meetings and other duties that
people used to manage their watches with my timing. And now….I am Miss Late.
Only
God could solve the mystery of my time mismanagement, although I don’t waste a
single second yet the result is mostly the same- ten minutes late.
Probably
when the dynamics of our life change- our behaviors and attitudes alter
accordingly. This is the time in my life when I have become a pure academic
lawyer involved in research projects, today my priorities are different and targets
are more focused.
Teaching
has become a soulful enriching experience and it has opened so many new avenues
for me. New ideas, healthy discussions and fresh minds are my friends these
days.
There
is a huge difference in facing a judge in the court room and teaching law, but
this experience has taught me one thing which I never cared for and that is, what do I really want to do?
Sometimes
our entire lives go by and it is only when we reach the threshold of old age we
realize, what we really wanted to do. Regrettably, by that time everything changes-our
energy, our ability and also our opportunities.
Today
I have grown out of the crazy notion of following the herd, to be like everyone
else because that is safe. I have also realized that I am a very lazy person
who just wants to live by the lake surrounded by trees and meadows, with slight
drizzle now and then.
Have a cup of my coffee, read books, write and do
research to have practical solutions to legal and societal problems; work at my
own time and pace and if I don’t want to work any particular day then I just take
time off. Then of course travel, travel and more travel, and teach.
My
entire focus from outward life and has shifted to inner life; well-being and
peace of mind are my top priorities today. Prayers have increased and they are
always concentrated toward joy and happiness for me and for everyone around me.
That
is it! Simple, to the point and without any complications.
Have
a great week!
With
much love…
Sonya
Syed. (Day 554)
Comments
Mam your blog is so impressive for me.
Jazak Allah