The Truth Shall Set You Free!

Just came across Meesha Shafi’s #MeToo tweet where she has accused Ali Zafar for harassment. Ali has denied all her accusations and decided to settle the matter in Court. It’s just a beginning, we’ll know the details about Meesha’s allegations as things would progress further.

Whatever and whenever the outcome would be, I can say for sure that Meesha Shafi will now have to face zillion comments and online trolling, false accusations will be made against her and everything she has ever done in life, starting from her hair and makeup to the clothes she wears. Then there will be many from amongst us who will support her unconditionally.

It is a highly risky thing to do but if she experienced something then she has a right to express herself but Ali Zafar is not less loved and admired by many fans and it will be a challenge for all to bear what will come later on.

Many women and girls don’t understand the concept of harassment, especially if they are experiencing it firsthand. Today the laws are bit evolved and harassment is evaluated from the experience of the victim. 

Somebody I know used to receive funny emails from her sister's father-in-law 'Funny Uncle', she had no idea what was happening to her until one day she called me that she received quite disturbing obscene images from the Uncle. It was then she realized that all those apparently innocent funny emails were a way to abuse & harass her online. She was in such a critical place that she could not even complain about those emails to anyone in the family, so she just blocked his future emails. Fortunately, he expired few months later and the silent misery ended silently.  

Couple of years ago, I met with a group of fresh and excited graduates from IBA and Karachi University they were all working for a reputable bank in Karachi. One of the girls from the group quietly approached me and wanted to have my legal advice. She wanted to know what sexual harassment is, how the law defines it and what its salient features are. I knew instantly that something more is behind this line of questioning.

After few seconds of hesitation she said: ‘My bank-manager is behaving very strangely, whenever he gives me a file or a paper or stationary he always makes sure to touch or rub my hand’. She adds: ‘I am really confused Sonya, I don’t know what is happening but I know for sure that I feel dirty, scared and terrible every time this happens’. She wanted to know if that was harassment, and unfortunately I had to tell her that it was.    

Something to this line happened to a colleague while I just began my law practice. I was working at a law firm to get my lower court license. Everything was okay until a new girl my colleague joined the office, I suddenly saw that my quite elderly senior lawyer suddenly started to wear flashy silk shirts and changed his haircut (or whatever of the few grey hair were left). 

So it was a Friday, while we were waiting for our turn in the court. In a hesitant way, my new colleague said: Sonya can I ask you something? I said yeh sure. She said: ‘what is your schedule on Fridays? Sir has asked me to stay in office after Jumah prayers. Sir is saying that it’s very important and I should be there. So will you be there as well’.

Shocked in disbelief as if I have been hit by lightning, I informed her that nobody comes to office after the Jumah prayers. We both were silent for few seconds but had immediately understood what was happening.

She asked me for help. Stunned and scared, I decided to take her with me and made an excuse to our boss that I have a small lunch at home and my mom has invited her (my colleague). The moment I uttered those words to my boss, he blankly looked at me and he knew that we both were fully aware of his intentions.

That was the day, a silent war was declared and we had to endure the consequences. So the first thing he did, he cut/ closed our room electricity saying that it was a technical error which will be resolved in few days. It was May’s killer heat and humidity and we had no fan, no light only light which came through windows. If that was not enough he hid the letter which was sent to me by Bar Council for my law practice license.  

Then he played his final stroke, he placed the seats of his peon, office clerk and his driver in  our room saying that they will temporarily sit there. These three men would come, not say anything to either of us, just talk loudly, joke and laugh among themselves. Of course within few days of all this we had it! So we walked out of that office with no work but with our dignity intact and our confidence enhanced.  

Few months later, when I was returning from court my driver informed me that the clerk of my ex-boss’s office had just met him and requested my driver to convey the message that: ‘Please Madam Sonia ko kehna key mujhe maaf kardein mein ne unhein bahout pareshan kiya tha, mein ney sab humare boss ke kehne pey kiya tha. Bus madam sey kehna mujhe maaf kardein (Please tell Madam Sonya to forgive me as I had created problems for her. I did all that on my Boss’s order. Please tell madam to forgive me).

Surprisingly, my creepy ex-boss sent me the letter which he hid earlier; on his own signed my internship letter and quietly came to Bar Council when I was giving my bar exam and interview to check that I didn’t face any problems due to late submission of my relevant forms.

I don't have any explanation to all this, except, that Allah is our protector and He has always protected me. 

So with all the craziness around, I still believe in humanity and have faith that Allah is watching and protecting us all the time, because soon after this I was blessed to work with the best people in the field- who not only they taught me whatever I know today but gave me the courage to believe in myself and to fight for what is right.

So believe in yourself and know that the Truth shall set you free....

Have a blessed Friday!

Sonya Syed (Day 574).