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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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I say a little prayer


Today my heart is shattered and broken into pieces; every piece is hurting and giving pain. The leader who was appointed after so many of prayers may be ousted from his office. Yes I am talking about Prime Minister Imran Khan’s removal after voting on the no-confidence motion given by the opposition parties.

This no-confidence motion is provided as our constitutional right; however it is being used for every other purpose which the constitution makers never even dreamt off. Lots of negative politics, foreign interference, corruption cases and fear of losing power are the main aims for this no-confidence motion.

While on the other hand, millions of people like me are in dismay and melancholy apprehending what is in store for the citizens of Pakistan. As difficult it is, we have to accept the reality and face whatever is to come with the hope that tomorrow the sun will shine erasing the darkness of night. 

With war in Ukraine where the entire country is going through so much destruction and pain, Palestinians, Afghanis, Kashmiris, Rohingya people and Syrian are facing the atrocities- my faith was dwindling.

I was questioning why is there so much pain, bloodshed and destruction and nothing is being done to stop all this. For few months I was a limbo but last night while I was trying to sleep a brief conversation within me began. I had two options, I could either continue to be on the path of questioning and rebelling or I could rekindle my connection with the light of Allah but with complete acceptance and surrender to what is; with gratitude and humbleness; and without any expectation of receiving answers to my questions.

Faith is a choice which we make every day, with every breath to remain dedicated with the Omni Present Source Allah, that there is. Faith is a choice that I have to make when my life is filled with happiness. Faith is a choice that I also make when my world is shattered. Faith and being a Momin requires me to stick and hold the rope of Allah even when Imam Hussain was martyred along with his companions in Karbala for fighting against injustice, Faith is a choice that I am to make during hunger, war and famine.

As humans, regardless of our skin color, financial worth, country of residence we all face pain, hardships, and everyone has to go their personal struggles. Ultimately, every living being has to face death- some die in sleep, some at war, some die with illnesses, some go young and some in old age. So if we all have face the tribulations of this world and also are required to leave this world one way or the other, then I choose to go through all this with my faith intact, to be a Mumin, to question the pain with the awareness that I might never receive an answer.  

I felt that the path of faithlessness and ingratitude is paved with darkness and misery, which is unbearable.  

So I keep my faith and I say a little prayer for the world.

Sonya Syed (Post 592).

Mumin is an Arabic term referenced in the Quran meaning "believer". 

*The title of the blog is courtesy of "I Say a Little Prayer" song written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David for Dionne Warwick. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Beautifully explained!
March 31, 2022 at 5:16 PM
Rajesh said…
Grear Story of a Great Man
October 6, 2022 at 11:18 AM
Ghulam Mujtaba said…
Beautifully described the inner feeling of common person believing on Imran Khan regardless of many hardships he is settle standing and believing in Allah Almighty. Inshallah in coming election is he will win because he is the only hope for us that he can change the Pakistan.
November 16, 2022 at 12:49 PM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more