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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Faith or Fear?

I feel certain heaviness in my mind, thought process is not what it used to be. Yet I don’t want to sound sad or depressed. I want to be hopeful in the midst of the darkness that seems prevalent in Pakistan these days. Worst economic news is coming from every direction, we all are struggling with apprehensions and insecurity regarding the future and our government /power circles are apparently unaffected and living in a bubble of denial. Since the political ousting of former Prime Minister Imran Khan the political instability, role of Military and Civil establishment is so badly exposed that it is impossible to be remain naïve any more .  

So what am I supposed to do? Worry, panic or go crazy with stress- honestly I don’t have the luxury to lose control over myself even for a bit. With all these frightful happenings I chose to take one deep breath, then another breath and another.

A word called “Faith” suddenly pops out in mind. But what does faith means? I am a Muslim so I have faith in the Oneness and Absolute Power of Allah; I believe in Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and all the Messengers, in all the Holy Books and in the Day of Judgment.

But my fears are still hanging over my head; I don’t see any angels coming down or miracles happening to heal my country. So how do I have faith? I am a weak human I need some prove before I have stronger faith.

Does faith means that I have to believe in the justice of Allah, no evil can live forever. Goodness and light always overcome evil and darkness. Faith is to keep on believing in Allah and what He said and promised each one of us through Quran and Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him), EVEN THOUGH we don’t see any changes in the worldly existence. This means that faith is actually activated when it is becoming faint or shaky. In such situation faith can go in two ways: either it will vanish completely or it will stand strong.

Since, I cannot afford to lose faith so I would like activate it in Turbo mode. From the despair, I will believe and have Iman and that help is going to be there exactly when it is required.

It feels light to understand my faith will always be perfect like Hazrat Ali ibn Talib (R.A.) or Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, Hazrat (R.A.) or Hazrat Aisha Siddiqa (R.A.), rather I will imperfect; and that weakness and fear will become the activation button for Faith.

A very Happy New Year to everyone!

 Sonya Syed (Post 593).


 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                

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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more