Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Yesterday
for no particular reason, I watched Shahrukh and Mahira’s starrer Raees movie
song. It had all the ingredients which a typical Shahrukh songs contain, a
beautiful heroine with long flowing dupatta or a sari pullo, and of course
Shahrukh himself.
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| Shahrukh Khan and Mahira |
I
felt that with him, Indian film industry is on the verge of losing its last batch
of ‘Heroes’. Let me explain what I mean by this, I grew up at a time when Indian
films slowly started to make a big impact on Pakistan’s society, culture and households
through their films released on video cassettes. Besides my family, the people I
saw every weekend at my family get-togethers were Amitabh Bachchan, Dharmendra,
and Shashi Kapoor.
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| Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor |
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| Left to Right: Amitabh, Dharmendra, Sanjeev Kumar & Amjad Khan |
Till
today the images of these heroes/ stars are engraved on my mind and for me the
terms ‘good looking and handsome’ are defined by these actors. The senior actors
like Amitabh Bachchan had grace, style, chivalry and special quality of being a
film hero which cannot be defined in words. Shahrukh, Salman, Amir Khan and
Shaan (Pakistan Film Actor) are the last batch of these stars/ heroes genealogy.
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| Shaan |
Stars/heroes might have changed, but one thing that remained constant is the
female actors, and the conditions and attitudes which they have to endure. Parveen
Babi was a very successful actress but she went through the hell of physical abuse
and molestation by the powerful men around her. Unfortunately, this is not the
case only with film actresses but it is something which common women also face.
 |
| Parveen Babi |
Physical
abuse is not only the problem of working women but it is also a grave issue
with girls studying in schools and universities, housewives living in joint
families. Not every joint family has such craziness but
there is vast majority of families where women are harassed by the men in the
house.
Research
has shown that such offenders fall into the category of socio-paths, their mode
of operation begins with creating an environment of trust and respect around them,
leading to abnormal niceties, which ultimately makes them very popular with
everyone. Once the confidence is built, slowly these offenders began to show
their hidden personality by way of subtle and coveted insinuations and gestures
towards their intended victim accompanied by inappropriately touching of hands,
or patting on back, touching their fingers.
Sometimes
it also takes place through obscene jokes at family/ friends parties specifically
when women are around, or even through indecent pictures and jokes in emails
and phone messages sent by a dear relative. Most of the time, women gets
confused when harassing advances are made towards her because she is not physically
attacked, rather what she feel is extreme anxiety, embarrassment, discomfort
and confusion.
Of
course, they are directly, indirectly carefully warned not to speak about this
to anyone, why? Simply, because no one will ever believe her, or will take her
word against him. Women are harassed by both outsiders and insiders: their family
members, bosses, teachers, who take advantage of them due to the powerful
position they hold.
Regrettably, in such cases women have no one to go to, they
cannot share this with their fathers, mothers, brothers or husbands as it might
get terrible backlash from them, and result in discontinuation of their studies
or other dire consequences like getting blamed as the cause and instigator of
such advancements.
I
wanted to write about this for a long time but had no idea how to start and
take up this sensitive subject. What I intend to do is inform my readers about
sexual/ physical harassment, so a space can be created at home, schools,
colleges, and workplace where the victim can at least talk to someone
fearlessly. My objective is to provide tools to detect and cure this disease at
the initial stage.
Although
I have made this article centrally focused on young girls and woman but even
boys are not spared from this horrific behavior. However, the ratio of a female
victim is comparatively higher than male victims.
It is always better to talk than hold our peace.
Have
a great evening,
Sonya
Syed (Day 567)
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