Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
111 is such a funny figure but at the same time I feel proud of my consistency and am so thankful to God for the perseverance.
Proper and timely lunch followed by a 20 minute nap could do wonders for you really. Tension seems to be diffusing gradually in the city well at least it feels much better at home, children from the neighbourhood playing cricket outside and people moving around in their varied dimensions instils a sense of regularity and peace. And then a strong flash of hope emerges from somewhere within, probably from the heart or spleen or kidney or gall bladder or lungs or liver that it all shall pass giving way to new and blessed beginnings. So in the hope & faith we shall live.
Someone on TV was talking about first impressions and how wrong they could be; and that we should not abruptly give judgement on anybody disregarding them completely just because we don’t like the shirt or shoes he or she is wearing.
I cannot say about the shirt or shoes stuff however as I love to enlighten all of you of my highly esteemed views whether you guys ask for them or not I have to say that I kind of sort of believe in the authenticity and viability of first impressions. Not once but on several occasions I found that my immediate reaction or idea on seeing people proved to be right in the long run and all those individuals turned out to be exactly like I first saw them. Then there have been few of whom I didn’t have any impression, neither good nor bad and with the time they were neutral to me they neither benefited me nor caused me any problem.
Having said that it is believed that the immediate impression or reaction on meeting somebody even before our thinking starts is the behavioural pattern of our mind which is only a conditioned pattern build up over the millions of years.
Few months ago I was waiting for the lift at my office building I saw four men coming out from another office; one of them was smoking, the way they stood near the lift and their body language gave me a fright and I knew immediately that I should not be in their proximity. Then I remembered a teaching by an eminent spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson who advises to pray on such occasions pray for myself and for them, in my heart to give my salaam to them, to bless them and myself. So I did exactly the same and even before the lift reached our floor within seconds I saw that the guy who was smoking abruptly extinguished his cigarette and a very visible and positive shift came in their body language it changed from being dangerous and harming to alert and respectable. Then they turned their faces away as if they are talking to each other and didn’t even join me on the lift.
What happened and why I have no idea nonetheless all I can say prayers have an extremely high frequency especially when done for collective betterment, everything has an inherent quality to get better and all we have to do is Pray.
My prayers & wishes for all of you....
Love!!!
Sonya. (Day 111)
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