Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Unexpected, sudden & unwarranted time-off’s cuts one from the flow of life and everything becomes stagnated. It’s Tuesday and there is a pin drop silence on the roads outside, silent violence persisting in the city for some time now has finally taken its toll on the residents of this beautiful and dangerous city, Karachi. Moreover, the threat of floods has also reached its most alarming stage throughout the country. With so much events happening around it is rather difficult to maintain our calm and focus yet we all go through these events in the hope of seeing better times.
Days are passing in the busiest and proactive manner and I have the satisfaction of not being merely busy but being productive as well as creative with the usage of my time. And after a long while I could get a sense that I am not catching up with time and running madly to get things done rather it’s the other way around.
Resisting thoughts or anything else as a matter of fact is not a wise option because what we resist persists- always, no exception; a personally applied observation. It is astounding to learn that daily on average we have 50,000 thoughts and more astonishing to know that majority of these thoughts are negative, of fear, anxiety, day-to-day stress and I could only wonder what side-effects does this frame of mind have on our bodies.
A particular thought or more precisely a positive intuition has been following me for almost more than a year now however due to the content of matter I cannot share with you all explicitly the nature of my intuition. Its safe to say that I have been resisting the very nature of this thought or intuition because my logic mind wants some sort of verification of its authenticity before it would allow this intuition to get saturated in my brain and really works its miracle. My logic brain is telling me that it all is simply a figment of my imagination because it cannot see anything manifesting in 3D –dimension reality, which is such a shame. As described by my mother that your sub-conscious mind is struggling to manifest something in your life and you with your foolish doubts you are pushing it away from you. Alas! the tragedy of a human mind...
I don’t know if anyone of you got the last paragraph but please don’t bother if you didn’t; I just wanted to talk about it.
Need to complete some chores and so dearies and dearas, Sayonara!!!
Sonya. (Day 110)
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