Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Life is finally becoming a great adventure where I am always experiencing new things and doing some of the most unusual things. Recently I had a very close encounter with fear, it was actually a dream or a flash or whatever you may like to call it where I saw a very dark cloud of black fumes hovering over my head from which hands are coming out and trying to hold me or something like that, it was all quite graphic. I was alone on my floor although my family also lives with me but I got so scared from all of this that I couldn’t even call out for anybody and thought someone is coming to take me or my time is up. So I called my guru but she couldn’t be contacted and then I thought of speaking to mom but then changed my mind because I couldn’t tell her how I felt or what I say as it might worry her about my mental state. In that moment of fear I decided to go for some Divine help and immediately started reading “Surah Yaseen”. As I was reading the Surah I felt an amazing flush of peace and courage instilling within and I realized that my fear has evaporated, then in few seconds my brothers came, then Amma showed up and my teacher also contacted me. However, by the end of my recital I knew that I am perfectly ok and I don’t need to call anybody because I am in safe hands now; later I also understood the meaning of my dream as well.
Like many other Muslims who pray and recite Quran I too did all that but somehow could never fully realize the true essence of Quran. And that day when I took refuge in the Quran, absolutely focused my mind to get rid of my fear I finally understood as to why Quran is synonymous to miracles, peace, joy and freedom; freedom from our fears and negativities. To experience what I went through all one has to do is to focus completely and be absolutely clear about your particular issue for which you would want the Divine help.
Yesterday I went to a salon for my hair-color change and a bit of highlights and with the feedback I got from the near and dear ones is highly promising and worth every penny. Anyways I went to the salon and there as I was waiting for my turn I started to chat with a very pretty young lady who was sitting next to me. I surprised myself because I am not at all the chatty-social type person yet we talked and she told me that only at the age of 22 she was diagnosed with severe Arthritis, every joint in her body aches all the time. So I gave her some basic acupressure tips (remember I have learned alternative medicine) to ease her condition and also gave her the card of our clinic where acupressure, reflexology and reiki is performed under the supervision of Dr. Zainab Bhaiji. Just by listening to our conversation another lady sitting with us said that it was her wish to learn acupressure for a long time nevertheless, she couldn’t find a proper training institute. So of course I gave her my contact and then another surprise came in, that the wonderful Nelofer (who was doing my hair and who attended me most perfectly and without any appointment) told me that she has taken reiki treatment twice, had the most pleasing experience with it and now she too was searching for the right place to get reiki attunement.
In that moment I finally understood the meaning of my dream, where dark clouds symbolized the pain and ailments, black color meant the uniform color at the salon and the hands reaching out to me were actually the hands of everyone at the salon who either needed healing or wanted to learn how to heal.
All I can say is that God would never show us anything which is heavy for us or something that is beyond the absorbing capacity of our physical and mental system.
So love and may the peace and joy be with all of you.
Sonya. (Day 156)
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