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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Light & Goodbyes



My mind and thinking is flying a rocket- with so many things that need my immediate attention. I have tried to complete some work but it keeps on coming and getting pilled up. I need to focus on one thing at a time and avoid multitasking.

I have missed yesterday’s post but couldn’t help it as slumber took the better of me. It is annoying not to have appropriate lighting in my room, I have golden energy savers and honestly they have blinded me. So I have to use additional light of lamp on my table to see the keyboard clearly. The lamp shines on the glass surface of my table which gives extra shiny reflection to my eyes. Everybody has forced me off and on to change the lighting of my room to moonlight but I am stuck with my decision because moonlight bulbs depress me. God I need help!

There is also another reason of my uneasiness and that is selling off my bright red colored laptop. I have kept it with utmost care since 2007, respectfully held it on my shoulders, with love cleaned its screen and now when I have a bonding, it is about to leave me in couple of days. It actually feels as if I am marrying my daughter. The pain and hurt is probably the same yet the problem is that neither I have a daughter nor she is about to marry a stranger.

What am I saying; I think the heartbreak has affected my mind. Well it is astounding to see how one gets so attached to the material things in life. In 2005 I saw the Oprah TV Show where Oprah was giving away among many other things like Blackberry, Sony VAIO colored laptops as a gift to her viewers. It was right then I decided to get a colored laptop no matter what the cost but with my own hard-earned money. I used to go to computer shops regularly to see if they have colored laptops but all in vain. All they said back then was, very few buyers in Karachi demand colored laptops as most of them opt for the standard black and silvers.

But destiny had other plans and with the twist of fate I went to Singapore on holidays with my family, when I was working for a security brokerage house. There I saw it, our eyes met and it was a love at first sight. A bright red colored VAIO came in my life and everything changed. Now in 2011 time has come to break up, to leave our love story unfinished and go our separate ways. The pain inexplicable!

I have somebody new in my life, my personal computer system which has given me care and comfort, but my dear VAIO- our love is for eternity.

Maybe at some point in life I shall meet you again but you would be different in body but same in spirit. So long my dearest….

And my dearest friends, Good Night.

Sonya. (Day 224)

Comments

Star said…
Amazing love story.....:)
October 19, 2011 at 10:29 AM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more