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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Seeing with blind eyes


Yesterday I went to University of Karachi to get copies of my degree, it was hot, humid and it felt as if my head was boiling so much that you could fry an egg over it. I was in my complaining mode of how hot it is, how thirsty I am and why is it taking too long to finish the work here.

With all this going in my head I came to my car parked in the ground where the students were sitting, standing and chatting in the sheds. There I saw this girl who stood right in front of me with her white stick, she was blind. However, there was a strange beautiful smile on her face even in that near-boiling-point heat. She was standing alone there but I strangely felt that she was smiling at me. I couldn’t understand what I was seeing because the way she was focused on me and smiling, for a moment I thought she is playing around posing to be sightless.

I was bewildered as to why she had that peculiar smile, in my heart I was also thanking for my eyes and the fact that I can see, protect myself and to see the faces of my loved ones and enjoy beautiful views all around. Nevertheless, I was unable to understand that girl or her smile.

Today while I was having my breakfast it just hit me right over the head that it was not her who was blind but it was me who cannot really see. I realized that it was not her but God through her was smiling at my childish whining.

It was God trying to tell me that “Sonya, look at her. Look how happy this girl is just for being alive, for being a part of the University and getting this magnificent opportunity to acquire education”.

She was pure in joy and so much gratitude that even the heat of the weather was unable to touch her spirits. And look at me who was there in the car; who received quality education effortlessly; whose school & college fees was always paid on time; whose parents had the comfort that she will be always safe because she has eyes protecting her; who can drive and enjoy life to its optimum and yet this is her complaining for humidity when she knows that within few minutes she will have unlimited access to cold water, fans, and air conditioner. What a fool you had been Sonya!

So I am really sorry for that complaining and Deeply Grateful to You God for giving me this Magical Cue  to realize these unlimited and innumerable Blessings.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Sonya. (Day 289)

Comments

Star said…
heart-touching message.
April 9, 2012 at 3:43 PM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more