Skip to main content

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment

Unnecessary burdens


Today I followed the forgiveness mantra that I wrote about so ardently in my yesterday’s post “Different Perceptions”.  I thought there is no harm in practicing myself whatever I am indirectly preaching. So today was my first day and I had some interesting feelings.

There are couple of people with whom I had a bit of rough experience. So in the morning I sat down took their names and prayed for their peace, welfare or whatever I could think of. Surprisingly more and more names and faces began to emerge in my mind with whom I have had some negative experiences at some point in my life.

I was shocked to realize that I have been holding grudges with quite a few people when I falsely believed that I had forgotten and forgiven them. As I was praying for them, in few moments I felt as if a dark huge stone with black smoke moved. I immediately thought that something happened with them but then I realized that nothing happened with them. In fact what happened is that the huge stone of anger/ hatred that was lying on my heart burning my being with black smoke shifted slightly. 

I tell you it was the strangest yet most lightening feeling that I have ever experienced. We don’t even know how much unnecessary burdens we subconsciously carry on our poor souls which would ultimately affect our health as well as our current relationships.

Of course this was just the first day I need to do this practice for 29 days continuously to really understand forgiveness.

Honestly speaking forgiveness is lot more than just verbally saying, “I have forgiven you”. If the very thought of that person still cause any discomfort, anger or any reaction in us then, hello! we haven’t forgiven them. Alas, it’s just our mental deception.

Good night & sweet dreams…

Sonya. (Day 340)


Comments

Naved said…
I guess I am defenitely amongst them :)
August 8, 2012 at 3:28 AM
Dr. Sonia Syed said…
We are all work in progress, the good thing is that at least we are aware of ourselves...:)
August 8, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS): What It Actually Feels Like

Wow! It feels nice to be back to my favourite place in the world, my blog, my love. But today it seems that the world has rotated 360 degrees. As I was trying to figure out how to tap into this new world order I thought the best way is to ask my Higher Power to guide me through. And what a better way to do that, other than recite a prayer ‘Dua Istikhara’ a supplication used by Muslims to seek guidance from Allah before making a decision. If we just read the translation of this supplication: “O Allah, I seek guidance from Your knowledge and power and ask You from Your great bounty. Surely, you can do it, and I am not. You know, and I do not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me in my religion, life, and end, then decree it for me, make it easy, and bless it for me. But if You know that this matter is bad for me, in my religion, my existence, and my end, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me what is g...
Post a Comment
Read more

3 January 2019

After fighting with an alien cat in my dream, I am awake at 1.30 am. It all is followed by a futile effort of building a sleep pattern of 9.30 pm to 6 am. Alas, not all wishes come true at once. No problem I will keep on working. Being a really smart gal I have messed up with my sleep-wake cycle long ago, and today when I accidentally opened Rujuta Diwekar’s video on cortisol on my facebook page- I realized what has been going on with me.  For all of you who are not aware that I am a distant relative of Kareena Kapoor Khan and Rujuta is the link who tied  Kareena and me  together. You all must be wondering why have I never discussed this earlier, why I took so long to disclose my bond with Kareena. Let me explain.   Rujuta Diwekar is a God’s blessing for all the fools like me who for some stranger reason believe(ed) that going on USA or UK-based diet programs would make us patla (thin/ lean). It was Rujuta’s eating desi ghee and daal sabzi ch...
40 comments
Read more

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more