Unnecessary burdens

Today I followed the forgiveness mantra that I wrote about so ardently in my yesterday’s post “Different Perceptions”.  I thought there is no harm in practicing myself whatever I am indirectly preaching. So today was my first day and I had some interesting feelings.

There are couple of people with whom I had a bit of rough experience. So in the morning I sat down took their names and prayed for their peace, welfare or whatever I could think of. Surprisingly more and more names and faces began to emerge in my mind with whom I have had some negative experiences at some point in my life.

I was shocked to realize that I have been holding grudges with quite a few people when I falsely believed that I had forgotten and forgiven them. As I was praying for them, in few moments I felt as if a dark huge stone with black smoke moved. I immediately thought that something happened with them but then I realized that nothing happened with them. In fact what happened is that the huge stone of anger/ hatred that was lying on my heart burning my being with black smoke shifted slightly. 

I tell you it was the strangest yet most lightening feeling that I have ever experienced. We don’t even know how much unnecessary burdens we subconsciously carry on our poor souls which would ultimately affect our health as well as our current relationships.

Of course this was just the first day I need to do this practice for 29 days continuously to really understand forgiveness.

Honestly speaking forgiveness is lot more than just verbally saying, “I have forgiven you”. If the very thought of that person still cause any discomfort, anger or any reaction in us then, hello! we haven’t forgiven them. Alas, it’s just our mental deception.

Good night & sweet dreams…

Sonya. (Day 340)