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Atonement



5th October is a day when I celebrate my birth day. However this year it has been different or may be I made it different. On the night of 4th October my life so far ran in front of my eyes; my success, my failures. I was reminded of many birthdays and several other occasions and for some peculiar reason I felt a very strong pull from within to seek atonement, to ask for forgiveness.  

I thought I haven’t committed any major sins as outlined by my religion; a harsh word here or there, little gossip but nothing more than that so why am I asking for deep forgiveness. I thought may be my time is up and before going I am given a chance to seek atonement. It felt quite strange. However, with all the strangeness I continued for atonement/ forgiveness.

While doing this strange activity gradually it changed from seeking forgiveness to becoming intensely aware of all my blessings. I wasn’t actually asking forgiveness to repent my sins but I was feeling sorry at myself for not realizing that up till this birthday I have lived a blind life.

I realized that till today I have lived a really healthy life. That I have been born in a family where I have been always loved and wonderfully taken care of. That I have been given the amazing opportunity to get educated and now to teach others. That I am blessed with so many resources and opportunities. That I have had the opportunity to work with the best people.

When I am hungry I immediately have food on my table, I have clothes to cover myself and shoes to wear, I have a well-built house to live. That my parents and my family has always lovingly put up with me and still adores me with all my weaknesses. That I am gifted with sincere friends. That I am blessed to be connected with all of you through this blog. 

Then I thought, ‘Sonya Syed what an ungrateful fool you have been all your life? Your gratitude was merely a pinch of salt in the ocean of your blessings. Wake up! See..’

Much love & affections.

Sonya. (Day 357)

Comments

Star said…
Much late but Happy birthday.

So how much old....:) ?
October 9, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Dr. Sonia Syed said…
Thank You:) 16 of course..
October 9, 2012 at 8:21 PM
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