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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Atonement



5th October is a day when I celebrate my birth day. However this year it has been different or may be I made it different. On the night of 4th October my life so far ran in front of my eyes; my success, my failures. I was reminded of many birthdays and several other occasions and for some peculiar reason I felt a very strong pull from within to seek atonement, to ask for forgiveness.  

I thought I haven’t committed any major sins as outlined by my religion; a harsh word here or there, little gossip but nothing more than that so why am I asking for deep forgiveness. I thought may be my time is up and before going I am given a chance to seek atonement. It felt quite strange. However, with all the strangeness I continued for atonement/ forgiveness.

While doing this strange activity gradually it changed from seeking forgiveness to becoming intensely aware of all my blessings. I wasn’t actually asking forgiveness to repent my sins but I was feeling sorry at myself for not realizing that up till this birthday I have lived a blind life.

I realized that till today I have lived a really healthy life. That I have been born in a family where I have been always loved and wonderfully taken care of. That I have been given the amazing opportunity to get educated and now to teach others. That I am blessed with so many resources and opportunities. That I have had the opportunity to work with the best people.

When I am hungry I immediately have food on my table, I have clothes to cover myself and shoes to wear, I have a well-built house to live. That my parents and my family has always lovingly put up with me and still adores me with all my weaknesses. That I am gifted with sincere friends. That I am blessed to be connected with all of you through this blog. 

Then I thought, ‘Sonya Syed what an ungrateful fool you have been all your life? Your gratitude was merely a pinch of salt in the ocean of your blessings. Wake up! See..’

Much love & affections.

Sonya. (Day 357)

Comments

Star said…
Much late but Happy birthday.

So how much old....:) ?
October 9, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Dr. Sonia Syed said…
Thank You:) 16 of course..
October 9, 2012 at 8:21 PM
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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more