Atonement
5th October is a day
when I celebrate my birth day. However this year it has been different or may
be I made it different. On the night of 4th October my life so far
ran in front of my eyes; my success, my failures. I was reminded of many
birthdays and several other occasions and for some peculiar reason I felt a
very strong pull from within to seek atonement, to ask for forgiveness.
I thought I haven’t committed any
major sins as outlined by my religion; a harsh word here or there, little gossip
but nothing more than that so why am I asking for deep forgiveness. I thought
may be my time is up and before going I am given a chance to seek atonement. It
felt quite strange. However, with all the strangeness I continued for atonement/
forgiveness.
While doing this strange activity
gradually it changed from seeking forgiveness to becoming intensely aware of
all my blessings. I wasn’t actually asking forgiveness to repent my sins but I
was feeling sorry at myself for not realizing that up till this birthday I have
lived a blind life.
I realized that till today I have
lived a really healthy life. That I have been born in a family where I have
been always loved and wonderfully taken care of. That I have been given the
amazing opportunity to get educated and now to teach others. That I am
blessed with so many resources and opportunities. That I have had the
opportunity to work with the best people.
When I am hungry I
immediately have food on my table, I have clothes to cover myself and shoes to
wear, I have a well-built house to live. That my parents and my family has
always lovingly put up with me and still adores me with all my weaknesses. That
I am gifted with sincere friends. That I am blessed to be connected with all of
you through this blog.
Then I thought, ‘Sonya Syed what an ungrateful fool you have
been all your life? Your gratitude was merely a pinch of salt in the ocean of your
blessings. Wake up! See..’
Much love & affections.
Sonya. (Day 357)
Comments
So how much old....:) ?