Silence

Life is no easy game to play, although at times we believe to be equipped with the best of tools and strategy yet on occasions we feel defeated. Though I only like to talk about hope and positivity but once or twice its fine to speak about not-so-happy things, I guess it lessens the burden somehow.

I am blessed with great friends and wonderful family who have been there for me whenever I needed them. However with time all of us get hugely busy in our lives, especially if somebody is married and have children. I know that I cannot have my friends with me 24/7 but then at times there feels a great need to speak with somebody.

After a long time once again I am going through my lonely phase or more to say anxiety-cum-lonely phase.

Over-sensitivity to certain situations provoke my condition. Situations that people handle bravely put me in somewhat anxious mode simply because I don’t want to deal with any confronting or uncomfortable scenarios.

I want life to run smoothly and people to remain absolutely peaceful. In fact I want everybody to be happy all the time so I can be at peace. Which practically means that my peace and happiness depends on the peace and happiness of everybody around me, not a wise dependency.

While I work and gets extremely busy then it feels fine but then you give me some solitary moments and I loose all the peace. The interesting part is that everything is fine in the surroundings, I am in my comfortable room protected from everything but the mind create fears and anxieties.

The only solution to deal with these feelings and thoughts is to become intensely alert of them as not belonging to you but only created by mind. That is not to get dragged away with the mental noise, images or memories. And to accept them as they are without any judgement or resistance.

If you are stuck in knee deep mud there is no point in cursing the situation, or getting angry as to how and why you got stuck in that dirt. But once you accept that you are stuck and there was nothing you can do about it, then with acceptance the mind calms down. When it is calm down then only you could find a way to get out of it.

You see a quite mind is the key. Many of us are not even aware that all the time when we repeatedly think about certain situations that happened to us in the past. Or when we continuously think about what someone said or did to us. Those repeated thoughts/ memories which we all have in our mind are actually the mental noises/chatter.

This mental noise is unconsciousness as defined by the spiritual teachers. Unconsciousness is not literally fainting but its loosing yourself in that mental chatter.

Most of us experience a film playing in our minds of anything that happens to us, either good or bad. We think continuously and feel emotions with respect to that situation unaware that we are overpowered by our minds. Our mind has become our ruler. 

However, once you become a witness of your thoughts and emotions realizing that you are the spirit, and the body where you live is having those reactionary thoughts and emotions in result to some event.

When you are able to detach yourself from mind even for a second, then this is your awakening or enlightenment.

When you experience the quiet mind that joy and peace, then you would not want to return.

Most of us in threatening situations experience sudden silence of mind. That silence is the peace which we are talking about but we don’t have to get into threats to experience it.

My first-hand experience of silenced mind was in a threatening situation. There was this gentleman, whom I hardly knew and spoke with for the first time. I had to hand over him some important documents. On that day he was probably going through some serious personal crisis.

Completely unaware of his condition I went to give him the papers, however, as I opened my mouth he started to shout very loudly. In that moment suddenly my mind was silenced. I could hear his loud voice but couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Then miraculously within few seconds, he was cooled down and abruptly became silent and apologetic. In fact his entire attitude changed with 5-6 seconds.  

It was my silent mind that not only saved my life but helped him as well. Because if in that moment I started to judge him or got angry, then I am sure he would have attacked me or thrown something to hit me. 

So you see how our peaceful/ quiet mind doesn’t only help us but it help others around us as well.

Honestly my friends it takes a lot of practice, but its worth the effort.

With love and best wishes.

Sonya. (Day 356)