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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Missing something..



Sometimes without even knowing you change so much that you cannot even recognize yourself.

Well, I haven’t changed that much on the personal level but my circumstances and routines have changed dramatically and if I can make a safe assumption they will alter and reach new heights pretty soon.

This blog was my main outlet to express myself, to say whatever I needed to say without any hesitation. My paintings, my breaths, whom I have now abandoned for months are beckoning me.

Nevertheless, time and mind are now invested in different professional activities. That’s why I said, sometimes we change unrecognizably.

Life is not about getting into new aspects and abandoning the old, I think its more a matter of balance. It is more about time management, commitment and discipline than anything else.

There is a very quiet, pristine and peaceful place inside all of us, where our true connection with our self, with God happens; where all the creativity takes place; where you get to hone your spiritual muscles.  

However, we can only get connected with that place if we are at peace. If we pray, if we meditate, be creative; its then only that we can get connected to that pristine place within us.

This place has to be kept in absolute purity, peace and joy. In this place there is no room for grudges, anger or hatred.


Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
 
You know for months I have a feeling that I am missing something, and missing it badly. And just by sitting in front of this computer I have suddenly realized that I am missing myself.

I am missing my prestigious connection with myself, I am running in all different directions trying to figure out what is wrong and like always all our answers are always with us.

I have stopped to take a deep breath, to see the sunlight, to feel the wind moving across. I have stopped to look at the colours; I have stopped to admire the beauty that life is.

Well, I have stopped to live…..

You can be reaching skies but if you are not connected to the sacred place within you, everything becomes meaningless and unexciting.

Children, they get excited and curious with little things, they want to know what it is and how it works and more importantly how soon can they play with it.

We, adults get so gripped in our adulthood that we forget being excited, being curious. We start to carry our pointless heavy baggage of sadness, of anger, of grudges, of what should have or should not have happened.

If we don’t allow our past to heal then it becomes a really heavy painful baggage. It is also strange that many times we suffer because someone else is carrying that baggage and holding on to anger against us. And we just stand there quietly and helplessly seeing them slowly destroying themselves.

What is so wrong in confronting your feelings and then forgiving others and more importantly yourself.

We are all humans and at times we take decisions based on the information we think is true, only to realize later on that what we assumed was true was actually an incorrect information. Then we start to blame others and ourselves, nevertheless, what is done is already done.

No one has the time machine in which he/she can sit, drive back and correct their actions. What we have, is this moment and our future. What we have, is the choice to move on, to forgive, to learn, to grow and to become an absolutely beautiful human being.

May the joy be with you all…

Have a wonderful weekend.

Sonya Syed. (Day 479)

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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more