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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Life, as it is…

It is so easy to preach spirituality while you are sitting in the comforts of seclusion when there are no challenges to face, no obstacles to overcome, no goals to achieve and no deadlines to meet. However, when you truly enter this world it presents fair amount of challenges.

It is this world and the people you meet in your daily life are the ones who challenge your basic education of spirituality, love and forgiveness. And honestly even someone like me who deeply believes in peace can some time lose her peace loving stance.
But then that is the real test of our spiritual teachings, it is in those unloving moments that the strength of our spiritual musculature is truly tested.

Recently I started my dedicated practice of daily meditation, it is a very simple practice that hardly takes 5-6 minutes of my time. The main aim of meditation is to quiet the mind so that peace can come forth. The first day was great. I was joyous and in the moment, everything was just perfect.

But wait, the second day all the chaos which was hidden in dark corners of my physical life suddenly jumped right in front of me. And the process is still continuing, all my hidden deep fears or anxieties started to present themselves. I was not awaken but I was jerked, jolted by what was coming.

Thankfully nothing health wise or any functional problem happened but it is more of what was hidden from my eyes came to my awareness. There were certain things/ emotions that I never wanted to face are now standing right before my eyes.

It sounds scary, well it is… to face all your weaknesses, to look deeply into your actions, and to evaluate your progress as a human being are not the aspects of our being which we would like to explore. It is better to ignore and move all the dust under carpet rather than face it.

Now I am thinking why did I have to start meditating when life was pretty good without it. But then again, irrespective of my choice to meditate or not those hidden emotions or situations would have been there, spreading their toxins without my attention. At least now I am aware of those hidden aspects of my being. 

I believe to know is better than not to know. When you know what are the wounded and unhealed parts of your self, it is only then the true process of healing starts.

Much love...

Sonya Syed. (Day 497)

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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more