I had to, I have no option. At first I thought
it was a topic that I should not mention on the blog; nonetheless, this matter has taken a significant turn and I believe
it is appropriate to share this information, so we can save a lot of time and
energy.
Few months ago, I met a wonderful lady who was
working at a nice place and apparently it seemed that she knows her way in this
world. Few days later she suddenly took off from work and vanished. Few days
later, upon her return we met but she was a different person. She was hurt and
badly injured emotionally. When I asked her as to what happened?
She cried her
heart out, and informed me that she was in a relationship with a particular person
and after years of courtship, this guy out of the blue, abruptly decided to
take a detour and married another lady.
Today, even after passing of 3- 4 months
she has not recovered from her emotional pain but mostly from the trauma of
being rejected for no apparent reason. Unfortunately, she is now suggested to
seek intensive psychological treatment, as her condition is getting worse.
She hasn’t told me all the minor details but
from whatever I have heard it seems that all those years, there wasn’t any
relationship to begin with. Relationship implies that two people are involved
but from what I understood there was only One person who was involved. That gentleman
was never interested in her, in the first place.
All those precious years which she wasted,
was only because she ignored all the red flags and never wanted to see the
reality of the situation. We meet someone, it feels phenomenal, we carry on for
some time, and few months or even few years later, the guy gets married to another
lady. Period. End of the story…
For some reason I keep thinking about her
and all the possible ways that I could have helped her. Yesterday I saw a brief glimpse of a scene from the episode of Sex and the City titled "Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little".
In this particular scene, Miranda asks Carrie Bradshaw's friend Jack Berger, to analyze the behavior of Miranda's potential life-partner.
After listening to Miranda’s entire story
Jack sums it up in one of the most powerful sentence, “He's just not that into you”.
This one sentence later turned into a
self-improvement book named “He's just not
that into you” written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo published in 2004
and was also adapted into a film by the same name in 2009. It was a New York
Times bestseller and was featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show.
I have read this
amazingly liberating book, and it has cleared all my concepts or
misunderstandings. Although this book is written by American writers but it has
highlighted relationship issues which are universal, whether you live in USA, UK,
Pakistan or Timbuk Too- human emotions and people are the same everywhere.
It’s like a guide
book on relationships, it’s compact and very well written. If you are single female
then it’s a must read and if you are married then it’s the perfect gift you can give
to your friend who is single. And if you are a guy, then God bless you.
Women or girls or ladies have a tendency
to complicate simple things, instead of looking at the reality we tend to
ignore all the tell-tale signs. Women are intelligent and highly intuitive creatures, at work,
they might handle 20 people but when it comes to handling one emotional situation
they are lost.
I have observed many girls and how easily they
get fooled, not by someone else but by themselves. They give excuses,
justifications on behalf of men in their lives so they can continue with their
illusion of relationship.
On the other hand, I have also observed
that if any gentleman would want to marry a lady then he will do so under any and
all circumstances; Class, Caste or Creed are non-issues for them.
If a guy is not asking you to marry him, within
few days or after a month of meeting, rather he is giving lame excuses like, “I
have to focus on my job/ Give me time-I have to talk to my parents/ I have to find
myself/ I am not ready for a long time commitment/ I need time/ You are in so much hurry/Sorry I lost your number-I have just changed my phone/ Sorry I couldn’t
return your call, My phone wasn’t working,
it fell into the washing machine/ I have shifted to Jupiter, they have no phone lines there/ I am not ready for marriage…… then it is exactly what it is, He's just not that into you”.
Best of luck!
Sonya Syed. (Day 499)
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