Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Frequent pauses in writing are developing into a standard practice for me and I seriously need to follow the disciplined structure. Friends are an integral part of our existence and in particular our childhood friends, we may loose touch for a long time but as soon as we do get connected we start exactly from we left. Much of the like happened to me and I cannot but appreciate the role these social websites play to reconnect and rebond. The other day I was fortunate to be able to speak with my Class 8th classmate Mustafa Allahwala it was after more than a decade that one fine day we suddenly came into contact. It was a delightful conversation and we remembered our school days, our teachers, post school life, our transmutation into maturity, how some significant pillars in our lives moved into other dimensions and the brilliance with how extraordinarily and beautifully life passed by. Maria, Muneeza, Faris, Saleem, Mustafa, Imran, Shahzeb, Miss Fouzia our favorite English teacher are amongst the significant people from my childhood.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream? *
Back to the present, Eckhart Tolle’s Now. Life is going much like the way it is supposed to go. As for the future I try not to think about it, if the thought is good & exciting it blesses us with joy but the unknown enshrouds anxiety as well. Thus the refuge of Now, the Present Moment shall take precedence over the rest.
Love & blessings for Now, Then & Forever.
Sonya.
* Poetry by Edgar Allan Poe
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