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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Twilight

There was a time not too long ago when the Maghrib time or sunset used depress me. I could never understand why people go to beach to enjoy those last moments of the twilight. Nevertheless, today for no particular reason I went to the balcony and was mesmerized by how beautiful and full of life everyone and everything appeared during this time.

Twilight sky had such beautiful shades of light and dark blue, orange street lights were shining and brightening up all around them. People are returning from work and mosques, children are going home from tuitions, shops have brightened lights to attract customers. I just stood their in awe of what I was seeing; with all the chaos on the roads I felt a certain silence and peace in the background. The trees, plants, the sky also stood as a part of that silence. Suddenly I was aware of life all around me which I was never before.

Today the sunset rather than despairing me gave me solace and urged me to be in awareness of what I have; as if it was telling me that today went good and so I must have hope for an amazing tomorrow.

In that moment I had no fear no anxiety, I just felt present and aware with all my senses; and then an Indian Cuckoo called from a distance as if it was affirming what I felt.

Lots of love…

Sonya. (Day 190)

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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more