Matters of Heart

As I was planning to write something today, well planning might not be the right word. Planning sounds too mechanical because this is not a matter of planning or scheming with mind rather it is the matter of heart and in the matters of heart you don’t plan neither you orchestrate anything. In the matters of heart everything just happens.

So when was I trying to figure out how to begin today, a voice within said ‘how do you feel today?’ Write about what you actually feel without any camouflaging, and be honest with yourself. I am afraid that too much honesty might get me into trouble, so I shall be a bit cautious.

I always say that I might not write everything about myself, but whatever I would write shall be the truth and nothing but the truth..so help me God.

Honestly, I feel that something wonderful is on the verge of happening, I don’t know where and I don’t with whom but it is going to happen. So hold on my lovelies... Sometimes we fear the possibilities of our good fortune, sometimes we fear that we might actually get something magnificent. 

We try so hard to push it away from us; however, it would not go away in fact with your resistance it shall get more persevere in coming to you. You can run but you cannot hide.

My beautiful cousin who is now studying medicine have really big dreams. She told her husband that soon she would become a great doctor and get herself two of her favourite luxuries, a huge yacht and a Bentley. 

In our little chit-chat she told me that her husband who is always very supportive of her ambitions got afraid after hearing her. He said, ‘K please don’t frighten me, your dreams are just too big for my little brain. I am very happy with my little business I don’t want all these big things, they scare me’.

It is strange that not only him but most of us are terrified of thinking big. There is no wonder that 95% of wealth of any country belongs to only 10% of people there. Rich people don’t become wealthy by fluke there is a particular science to all this.

We all have seen or heard numerous examples of people who started with nothing and achieved everything. Oprah Winfrey is amongst the 100 most influential people in the world and in her childhood she couldn’t even afford water supply in her taps, her mother and grandmother were maids. Today she own private jets and whatever business she does turns into gold.

On the other hand, we have also heard about people who had everything and all of a sudden they lost it all.

These things happen to people because they deeply desired or feared so. Yes, the quality of our lives is directly proportional to the quality of our thoughts and emotions. Fear and lack always attract more fear and lack, while abundance magnetize abundance.

Personally too I have experienced this. Till 2008 I used to maintain a diary of all my thoughts and my daily activities, in that I always wrote in detail about my fears and insecurities regarding my personal and professional future.

In the end of 2008 when I finally woke up and received guidance, my entire life changed. Allah works with us and help us in so many ways that we cannot even think of. My help came in the form of a book ‘A New Earth- by Eckhart Tolle’.  

It was after reading that book and in 2009 going through some personal and professional setbacks, most importantly loosing my father to cancer. I realized that in my life everything happened exactly as I wrote about them throughout the years in my diary.  

Every single thing that I experienced was already written by me, as if I was the director, script writer and actor of my life. You know why, because throughout all those years when I wrote my diary I focused on my thoughts and emotions.

I energized my negative feelings by constantly thinking and experiencing them in my heart and mind. And voila’ my life became a mirror image of my thoughts and feelings.

The energy that I gave to all those thoughts and feelings that should have been allowed to disappear shaped my life. The effect of those negative thoughts and feelings was so deep that even after four years I am still in the process of intense cleansing both spiritually and mentally.

You too would have definitely experienced this, think about any latest experience/ incident you had whether negative or positive. Now take a pencil and paper, take few deep breaths and go back in your mind before that incident happened. Try to recall, your exact thoughts and feelings before that particular incident occurred.

Write every little detail that comes to your mind, don’t judge or guess what you are writing just go with the flow.  Do it in one go, don’t give any break.

After completing this exercise, go through what you just wrote. You will surprise yourself.  

I often do this exercise to navigate myself in the right direction, I tell you that I get astonishing revelations about myself.  If I am thinking fearful or negative thoughts about anything I suddenly change my direction to present moment. I begin to give immense thanks to Allah by remembering all my blessings and gifts, I give deepest thanks for things as little as my shoes and toothbrush.

I continue with thanking until I start to feel good about that particular situation because the moment you begin to feel a certain tingling sensation in your heart, Joy, it is a sign that your gratitude has started to work.

Have an amazing week!

Sonya Syed. (Day 444)