Enough said and done!

Fear and insecurity are inevitable feelings that you feel when you begin to loose something that you have with you for years.  There are times, when life suddenly wakes you up to do what is needed. As much as it pains you or others around you, you still need to stand up for yourself.

Few days ago I went for a haircut, the stylist who was doing my hair had a frozen shoulder. It was a technical cut and she is a perfectionist, so we were together for at least 2 hours when she was carefully checking the precision. Within few minutes I suddenly started to feel acute pain in my shoulder, which led to cervical and a severe headache.

The pain in my shoulder was so bad that I had to ask my stylist if her frozen shoulder was hurting her- because after practising alternative medicine and especially reiki we can naturally feel the pain or discomfort of others in our own body. I felt her shoulder pain exactly at the same spot in my shoulder and it got worse with time.

So after she was done with my hair cut I asked her if I can do her shoulder therapy because if didn’t help her then I would get bad dreams. Yes its true that if I do not help people who come to me then my subconscious mind punishes by showing me nightmares.

However after doing her therapy my shoulder pain didn’t go away, in fact, it became worse so much so that I had to urgently see my  therapist Dr. Zainab for my own healing. It was then when she saw in such pain she said, ‘Sonya, become a butcher. You should have faith that Allah is the ultimate healer of everyone and you cannot help everyone’.

When she spoke those words to me, in that moment I felt to have suddenly woke up from a deep sleep and from some kind of trance. I realized that I cannot be there for everyone because I have to be there for myself first.

For years I have compensated for other people’s problems, I ignored my own needs to support others, I have given them so much time and energy without asking anything in return.

But this cannot continue any longer, enough is enough! Everything is give and take, what you cannot give- you have no right to receive.

This happens to us in many ways with our friends, family, at work. I have woken up and have let go off all thoughts, past experiences, etc that are not productive for me. 

Today only those memories, experiences, thoughts, and people are allowed to stay that are contributing to my health, happiness and peace.

Cheers :)

Sonya Syed. (Day 458)