Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
I don’t have any idea from where or how to begin because today has been overwhelming for me. After several years of putting a lot of effort, perseverance and sincerity in my relationships I am ecstatic to receive the fruits of my intentions. Like so many I have made some silly mistakes and behaved in ways which were non-loving, when my actions were unkind and they did not reflect my true feelings. It had been more of action-reaction instead of action-response with dignity, humility and understanding.
When the people who were directly or indirectly involved in the matter acknowledged my efforts and intention and realized that I authentically tried to atone for my actions. What could be better than to be forgiven and to forgive, to be allowed to heal and to start afresh. It feels as if I have acquired the riches of the universe, the feeling of abundance has completely taken over my entire being and out of these emotions emerged humility, gratitude and the hint from God that I should continue on the path that I have chosen but now with even more faith and zeal.
I have learned a very important lesson that even though if one has made mistakes or behaved in a neurotic or a loveless manner however once you have realized that you have been wrong then the first step towards healing of the problem has already been taken. Then pray to get guidance so you could correct the errors, forgive and be forgiven and this is when everything that one has done gets erased from the memory of the Universe or God and we are blessed to begin once again on a clean slate; in a way are reborn.
Ahh I sound philosophical but it is my experience, my truth, my reality. Love and allow yourself to be loved, it’s a great feeling I tell you.
With my unconditional love to all.
Sonya. (Day 83)
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