Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Ah the rain descents after all. Its past midnight now and I can’t but imbibe enough within myself the night’s beauty. Quietly it began drizzling as I sat in my balcony feeling rather than watching the effects rain has on us. It’s so magnificent outside that to even try to put in words is beyond my humble capacity.
Due to storm predications the traffic is negligible which almost is a rarity nowadays.
Then the most beautiful orange tinged street lights scatter their shade on the wet roads, sprinkles of the rain aromatizes the dry and humid soil; and then a rickshaw passes by with its psychedelic lights and hi-fi stereo playing the songs of Attaullah Khan Esakhelvi. And once calm and sensuous sky of yesterday is now roaring with bright sliver lightening; in this very moment I simply couldn’t ask for more. Even though the thunder storm is doing every effort within its power to startle us however the stillness of night and cold breezes has abolished any such endeavours.
But then the reality of load shedding enters and tries to snatch the dreaminess of night and in the most brutal ways.
So now I request you for congé so I could enjoy the atmosphere, be with myself and contemplate.
With all of you in thoughts & prayers.
Sonya. (Day 80)
* Abraham Cowley
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