Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Just by making few simple alterations in the room everything looks fresh & crisp. Small chores at home take up most of the time; the simplest & the most basic room in the house is mom’s its very easy to manage on the other hand my room although not filled with too much stuff yet its not easy to handle every corner of it. I just changed the bed cover in both my and Amma’s room; in her room it took me effortless 5-8 minutes whereas my covers took 15-20 minutes and with lot of effort and roaming around the room.
Conflict or disagreement even within 10 miles radius of me disturbs my functioning in every respect; I become lethargic and sulky. Then I ask myself where I could get an environment where all is love, peace & bliss 24/7, 365 days a year. The only place which comes to the mind then is heaven however the irony is that we live on this earth where change is inevitable, where there are different people coming together from different situations with their particular mindsets. Now should we strive to change people so as to maintain our peace but then it would be a futile effort. The only possible solution that I could think of is to take responsibility of my actions and deeds and as much as possible try my best to maintain peace and calm which is inherent in me.
I read somewhere “This too will pass” which means before giving any life situation a label of being either good or bad we must realize that all situations are neutral its our thinking which assigns it a name, a label. That every thing doesn’t remain as it is forever, its reaches its logical end. We should acknowledge that every form or tangible thing be it human or any material stuff or any situation is transient in nature and nothing is permanent.
Learned and wise says to detach ourselves from the circumstance, take it as neutral and then very alertly observe our thoughts and physical reactions during that situation; and then it all shall dissolve or one would be at peace. Not a very easy concept to grasp hun!! Nevertheless what’s the harm in experimenting with it, there is nothing to loose really.
With wishes of peace & love for everyone.
Sonya. (Day 92)
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