Changing Times

These days I am around with newer generation who are at least 10 or more years younger than me and everywhere I turn I only hear one comment and that is ‘today’s generation is really difficult to handle and the situation is going to get worse with upcoming generations’.

Of course every time is different and it is part of the human evolution but the question is what is that one can do to gracefully convey your values to this generation and at the same time get respect from them.

I have to say that parents of 20 year olds or less face a real challenge, most of them don’t have a clue of how handle their children. Parents believe that their values and standards should be followed under all situations, while the children are rebellious and have somewhat disrespectful attitudes.

I always heard about generation gap but today I can see it more clearly than ever. Parenting is a tough job and children do not come with a manual, although I wish that they were.

I am not in any position to comment on such delicate issue but what I have learned and the way I have been brought up is pretty simple. My parents never pressured me to compete with my class mates, crazy drive to always get an A plus was never in question.

My mom always maintained a very open relationship and if there was a problem she is the first one to be notified. Even if I have made a blunder, she would always listen and together we tried to find a solution. If I made a stupid mistake then I am always guided in a tough voice where have I been wrong; however, it was never- ever insulting.

As a child one thing that I always experienced is my respect as a person.

Today what I see is chaos all around me. I have realized one amazing fact that children become the mirror image of their parents. If a parent was at any time in his/her life disrespectful toward their elders then it is inevitable for them not to experience same thing with their children.

Nevertheless, parents fail to recognize their past mistakes and easily find children responsible for the problems. Nothing happens in a moment it takes years of concentrated behaviour that develops into an attitude. Suddenly one day you cannot expect to claim the love and respect from your children when in their early childhood you have either, verbally or physically abused them.   

I think the best way to solve this problem is to recognize that elders can be wrong to; then try to develop a relationship of mutual understanding and compassion, at the same time be firm and assert your position with confidence. Try to become friends and involved in some aspects of your child’s life. They might shut you out first but when you really try to understand their challenges and problems then there might be a way out.

No ego, no judgment just acceptance of your child as they are, without forcing them to become some fantasy person that you have wished them. If your child is loving and kind then you are luckiest person in the world, nurture that love.

If you have little children then teach them to meditate, to pray, to give, to be grateful- become the example so they can follow you.

Love (patience + acceptance +respect) conquers it all. By the way it is never too late for anything because if you are alive then it is the right time.

May all the joy be with you.

Sonya. (DAY 434)