Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Me at 2 am in the morning, wide
awake as if I have taken many cups of strongest coffee but no dear there is no caffeine
in the system. I have decided, for at least, in this month to detoxify caffeine
from my system.
My mind cannot afford any more stimulation as it is far too excited
on its own, once again the reason for such excitement is unknown to me.
Sleep and I are not getting along
these days, slightest of movement anywhere and I am up. Experts recommend meditation
and relaxation exercises for such state, nevertheless; the more I try these
techniques the more hyper I become.
It is strange that few issues/
situations keep revolving in my mind 24/7 involuntary, and I believe they are
asking me to give them attention. Sometimes few things keep popping up in mind
because they need to be resolved, or they require some kind of action from us. However,
what can be done if you have no clue what to do with them?
As a consequence of this inability,
sleep gets victimized. On the other hand, I firmly believe that if anything needs
a settlement it shall find its way, it
cannot be forced on someone. Everything always comes to its logical end- because
this is the law of nature.
Only an hour left before sehri
and I think I should get some sleep or else the morning would suffer. Sorry for
this sudden breaking up of our chit chat, but we’ll talk tomorrow in better
time.
Take care and much love.
Sonya Syed. (Day 438)
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