Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
To be or not to be... William
Shakespeare's Hamlet. No please, I am not going to get into any intellectual stuff.
It’s just that these words keep coming into my mind, for reasons unknown, my English
class and the teacher and the elementary school are all roaming in my mind
these days.
It is strange that I am even
dreaming my school, the place where we used to have our art classes, the Montessori
classes. It all seems so real that if I want I can probably touch those images.
Brain and its memories are indescribable phenomena they take to the journeys
where you once had been.
However, I have to say there has
to be some solid reason for such wanderings or else this could be simply the result
of an empty mind.
Me and my stories...Anyways Ramadan
is just around the corner and we have
already started to see the chaos and panic on the main avenues of the city. I always
fail to understand what is in this Holy month that makes people odd, what is
there that everyone seems to be running after but failing miserably to achieve?
This Holy month should be the
month of peace, patience and tolerance but what we observe is the opposite. It has
been mentioned in our sacred teachings that throughout this Holy Month Satan is
locked away so he cannot attack human mind and soul.
So if Satan is absent during the month then who
misguides us from the path of patience and serenity; probably our inner demon comes
on the surface. What we try to hide all year suddenly shows up right in our
faces- as an uninvited guest. Whether invited or uninvited, every guest needs
to be respected and entertained.
I think whatever negativity comes
up in our own personality or collectively as a nation during this Sacred Month,
must be accepted. Accepted and surrendered to the Almighty, so He Who has the
power to change it all can change it for us. And so it is, Amen.
Have a wonderful evening...
P.S. I just remembered this fabulous poem, have a look.
The Guest House
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond -- Jelaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks
Sonya Syed. (Day 435)
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