Stocks, Bonds & Instincts

I sat yesterday to write something but could not find any thing of substance to share and moved away. Probably when there is so much to share that when you try to speak you are overwhelmed and nothing can be expressed.

I have a new aspiration although it is not new because I first had its inclination in 2005. My new aspiration is to learn about the mechanics of stock exchanges, securities and business. No I am not becoming a securities investor/advisor nor I wish to start my brokerage house but strangely enough I feel a strong urge to learn this subject.

In 2005 I had this urge and in 2006 when I actually started to work at security brokerage house I completely forgot about my wish. Mainly because I was an indirect part of the securities business due to my attachment with the company’s construction business for which I was mainly appointed. So all the time while I was there it was more to do with real estate and company matters rather than shares or stock market.

Now when I look back I just want to bang my head against wall because how can I so conveniently forget such important thing to learn. There were people who could have easily taught me this science. Yes I call it science because it is an independently distinct genre of business and there are rules and mechanics which are applied.

Of course I have all the bookish knowledge, I know and understand it clearly in literary terms but on ground learning and experience are something different and cannot be taught by books.

Since couple of weeks once again this urge is pricking my mind and I am reading whatever I am getting my hands on. Interestingly for no precise reason whenever I am free I would switch on business channel like Bloomberg and blankly listen and hear as to what everyone is talking about. Sometimes I get it what they are saying but mostly I just watch and hear with the curiosity of a child. 

May be this is real urge to learn new things or may be something is wrong in my brain because apparently I don’t see any need to learn and go deep into this subject as it is indirectly connected with my corporate legal work and the current knowledge I have appears to be sufficient for my work. With every excuse I can give I still feel attracted to it like a magnet.

I can distinctly remember this is exactly how I felt before I went to learn reiki and acupressure. A subtle Voice from within kept on telling me look for a teacher. Dr. Zainab who taught me acupressure and reiki changed her clinic many years ago I didn’t have her number nor I remembered her last name so I could search for her in directory. When we had opportunity we would go to her last clinic and talk to the neighbours if anyone had her contact number, but all in vain. This exercise went for months when I finally gave up and decided to let it go.

Then one evening I was sitting idle and the same Voice spoke to me again but this time it was strong, firm and authoritative and it said, “Get up and find Dr. Zainab!”. It felt as if a  teacher shouted on a student who was asleep in class. Although awake I jumped from the sofa with a fright due to strength and vigor of that Commanding Voice.

I said to myself how I can find her because Government has banned telephone search of home addresses. I still called the operator but since I didn’t remember her last name he couldn’t help me, besides her clinic number wasn’t listed. On several calls and begging operator told me to search online and if her number was listed in her name I could find her. That hour we had load shedding and the battery of my laptop was almost dying.

So I typed Dr. Zainab in the search box and 35 numbers of Zainabs’ appeared on the screen, with two of them being Doctors. I decided to call each and every Zainab, starting with one of the two doctors who had a familiar surname Bhaiji. Playing a blind stroke the first call I made went to the Dr. Zainab Bhaiji. It was her home number and within seconds I was connected to her and from next day my learning began.  

What was that Mysterious Voice who not only commanded me to look for Dr. Zainab but lovingly guided me towards my path and made everything effortless for me? Of course my efforts and intellect was involved in the process but more than my own doing some other Energy was doing all this through me.

Is this the same Energy (we call God) who now asks me to gain this new knowledge or is it my own wish? Only time and situations will tell…

Sonya. (Day 248)