Skip to main content

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment

Peace & Prayers


What makes one truly rich when there is a lot of money in your bank account or when people pray for you without you asking them to do so. Of course having a heavy bank account is a nice thought but what is more wonderful is when people who are not living in your proximity, or they are not related to you by blood, or with whom you are not meeting on daily basis so they would remember you in prayers and still they pray for your peace and health.

I feel abundant and extremely rich today when my childhood friend Maria whom I hardly see or talk in months told me that she always pray for my peace of mind. One of my senior lawyer on his return after performing Hajj told me that my name came to his mind even in the hustle of the pilgrim and he too prayed for my peace of mind. These people who I meet sometimes in months or years not only remembers me but pray for me; what more could I want from life.  

It makes me wonder that my not-so-peaceful state of mind is evident to so many people. Yes it was this disharmony in me which I struggled with for years, sometimes people call it depression or boredom or fear or anger. 

Years earlier I realized when my fear, anxiety, over sensitivity increased to such level that it compelled me to think; “this is not right, I can’t live like that”. From then on my search for Something began.  

I knew somehow that what I am feeling or going through is not only unbearable for me but also is not the way human-being is supposed to live. 

After years of searching for that Something, it was in the end of 2008 when I found a book “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle which resonated with my state at so many levels and I felt a shift within.

Since then I am on the process of awakening, getting a glimpse of eternal peace and the silence of mind; for some it happens immediately and for others like me it happens gradually in a process. Initially I had brief moments of peace, and then it changed into hours and now days. Then for some days I revert to my old state but with complete awareness.  

Its like flu, you know that after a downward phase there is going to be an upward phase and that after completing its cycle it will subside. As your spiritual-emotional immune system gets strengthened gradually this flu becomes weaker and weaker and then one morning you will wake up fully to life around you.  

In peace and with prayers for all of you ..…

Sonya (Day 251)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS): What It Actually Feels Like

Wow! It feels nice to be back to my favourite place in the world, my blog, my love. But today it seems that the world has rotated 360 degrees. As I was trying to figure out how to tap into this new world order I thought the best way is to ask my Higher Power to guide me through. And what a better way to do that, other than recite a prayer ‘Dua Istikhara’ a supplication used by Muslims to seek guidance from Allah before making a decision. If we just read the translation of this supplication: “O Allah, I seek guidance from Your knowledge and power and ask You from Your great bounty. Surely, you can do it, and I am not. You know, and I do not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me in my religion, life, and end, then decree it for me, make it easy, and bless it for me. But if You know that this matter is bad for me, in my religion, my existence, and my end, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me what is g...
Post a Comment
Read more

3 January 2019

After fighting with an alien cat in my dream, I am awake at 1.30 am. It all is followed by a futile effort of building a sleep pattern of 9.30 pm to 6 am. Alas, not all wishes come true at once. No problem I will keep on working. Being a really smart gal I have messed up with my sleep-wake cycle long ago, and today when I accidentally opened Rujuta Diwekar’s video on cortisol on my facebook page- I realized what has been going on with me.  For all of you who are not aware that I am a distant relative of Kareena Kapoor Khan and Rujuta is the link who tied  Kareena and me  together. You all must be wondering why have I never discussed this earlier, why I took so long to disclose my bond with Kareena. Let me explain.   Rujuta Diwekar is a God’s blessing for all the fools like me who for some stranger reason believe(ed) that going on USA or UK-based diet programs would make us patla (thin/ lean). It was Rujuta’s eating desi ghee and daal sabzi ch...
40 comments
Read more

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more