Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Its been a deliberate decision to
vanish for few days and go into my hibernation mode. There are moments when
nothing makes sense, when everything seems to be out of place, and when you
need to stand for yourself and make some strong resolutions. Thus it is only wise
under the prevailing circumstances to take a break.
So what happened after wards? Well,
you decide that you need to start from the start. That you are wiser now and
you have learned from the mistakes and carelessness of the past. That you will
be authentic, this time. That you will make the most from the opportunities
which life is and shall be presenting. That you will be intensely aware, this
time. That you will be in peace and gratitude.
Yes, I am successfully renovating
my life- fixing up the broken aspects, throwing away the clutter, claiming my
space and redecorating it all with brilliant colours and new belongings.
Life is gifting us fresh
opportunities and new avenues every moment, and all we need to do is to be aware
and when it’s the right time you make the right move.
Its all about getting back your
perspective and deciding what is productive for you Now. And then it is not
even necessary that your outside world changes because you are not concerned
about the world anymore. All your focus is now on your inner world, your inner kingdom and let the outer world respond to the tune of your music.
My love to all.
Sonya Syed. (Day 377)
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