Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
After a long interval and anxious excitement, my room is finally
painted. This is also the main reason for my awkward appearances and
disappearances from the blog. There is no internet and when there is, then the
mind is engaged at ten places simultaneously.
For few years, something has gone terribly wrong with my room
because the more I try to make it comfortable the more unsettling it gets. Lately my room has been called different names some call it a storeroom,
others a museum and for some it is a furniture shop.
So I decided to give it a facelift and I am positive that now everything is going to settle perfectly, because now
I have a direction and openness to view every possible option.
Having said that I am not going overboard with the expenses in
decorating my room because sooner or later it is going to be my secondary
residence.
Finally
first winter rains have hit the city and I must say what a beautiful moment it
was. Day before yesterday my dear mosquito friends woke me at four in the
morning, besides the mosquitos I was also feeling uneasy. As I was roaming
on my floor I suddenly heard strange noises. At first I didn’t believe it but
then I realized that it was actually raining outside.
Awake and excited I sat in the terrace from 4.30 to 8 am and watched
the beauty of the nature. It was freezing in the balcony and there wasn’t a
soul nearby, vehicles on the road were invisible. The rain were so heavy that
few buildings adjacent to my house disappeared in the mist. And who could miss
that lightening, yes it was a thunderstorm.
Strangely, I felt that somewhere something crucial has happened, as I
was thinking what it could be I heard a thunder. It all looked quite filmy like
when someone makes a special entry or some important decision is made they give
thunder sound and light effects.
All in all it was marvellous and I am
so thankful that I was awake to witness this magnificence.
Sonya Syed. (Day
379)
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