Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
If I see through the years that I
have lived I cannot but be extremely grateful to Allah for the wonderful life which
HE has blessed me with MashaAllah. Yesterday another year passed from my birth
chart and I feel that I have been just born. The blessings I have been given
are beyond any expression, the love, the respect, my education, my loving and
supportive relationships and of course the friendship of my beautiful friends.
For the first time in many years,
yesterday I had the most amazing birthday. There was a certain quite peace
inside that couldn’t be named but only felt. The family and friends showered me
with the most exceptional prayers, gifts and blessings and I feel fortunate to
be able to experience all this.
On the other hand, life has also
taught me many important lessons. Most importantly, to value what is worth
valuing and to let go what becomes a burden to the soul. Although this letting
go is no easy task but sometimes we need to make a decision, we need to decide
to keep with us what is productive for our growth as a person.
Sometimes life present us with
tough choices- choices that challenges our comfort zone. Nevertheless, I feel
that when it comes to getting Peace, the decision automatically becomes easy. You
can choose either to be stuck in your misery or you can choose peace.
Of course causing trouble to
others will never give us peace, so we need to be intelligent about our decisions
and the way we take them, that is, minimizing the damage and of course
constantly praying that whatever happens or whatever we decide comes from
Divine Guidance which shall have the highest good of all involved.
I have prayed all my life but
only couple years earlier I have truly realized the power of prayer and
gratitude. We run to fake babas’ or pseudo-spiritual experts or even take
Professor Moiz Hussain’s workshops to get what we wish. Nevertheless, in this senseless
running here and there we forget that what we are trying desperately to find outside
is already within us, only if really look.
Our best Friend, our Guide, Our God
is always with us, waiting for us to consult Him for our problems.
I have found HIM and every moment
I consult HIM. I talk to Him and ask for His Advice and Guidance so I can be
saved from myself. Yes isn’t it true that sometimes we need to be saved from
our own stupidities. I involve Him even when I have to buy a dress or when I
have to decide which haircut to take and from where.
The more close I try to be with Him the more near He comes, then He holds my hand and tell me, “My dearest,
think good for everyone and I will do
the best for you….’
My love to all.
Sonya Syed. (Day 451)
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