Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Every so often life shows us different
paths and out of those many paths we need to choose one way, and that one way will be the
determining factor for the quality of our entire life.
Today I feel as if I am
standing at the junction of two points where one leads to the right way and
other leads to total chaos. Its similar to when we graduate from school and are
required to select our college.
Sometimes right and wrong are not
written in black and white, and you fear that what might look right to you
could be very wrong for somebody else. I wish that God would just give us a manual
where everything is pre-written and all we need to do is go to the index and get
our solution.
With all the education,
intelligence and experience you have- it is strange that you don’t know your
way. Nevertheless, I think this is the
beauty of life, this is the magnificent
opportunity given to us by Allah to strengthen our connection with Him. And when
you put your trust in Him, He will show the right way.
The problem with me is that, I have
never fought for my rights. I always run away from the situation when there are
chances of even slightest conflict. I always moved out of the way for others to
move on but not anymore. This passive attitude ends here and now, and for
good..
I cannot give any suitable answer
for my absence from the blog because I don’t know it myself. I have nurtured
and loved this blog and it has been always my refuge.
It is the only place
where I can be myself and say whatever I want to but for few days something is not working for me. I don’t know what it is but until the energy
field is clear for me I might be infrequent.
Future is in future, but now in
this moment I am here with you all.
So have a great and safe weekend. With
all my best wishes...
Sonya Syed. (Day 450)
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