Disappointments are an evitable
part of our existence, still if we have a choice we would never invite them in
our lives deliberately- yet we fall into situations where others disappoint us.
There could be many reasons of our
disappointments, sometimes we expect too much from others without any sensible
reason. Sometimes we put people on such a high pedestal that to see them
falling from that high place disappointments us.
Being disappointed in itself is
not a problem at all. The problem is that after being disappointed by someone
we would be forced to think negatively about that person, either by disliking
them or by not trusting them further. And this dislike or lack of trust for
other person, is what actually gives us the pain.
All of us whether we admit it or
not, know it or not- are designed to be compassionate with ourselves and with
others. But then the human element, the ego enters our life which distorts us
and move us away from our compassionate zone. Sometimes we behave neurotically
with others just to satisfy our anger, our hatred or jealousy and sometimes others
do that to us.
And in this cycle of
action-reaction and disappointments, we all get badly bruised.
As I usually say the million
dollar question is, how to avoid being hurt/disappointed? The question is
simple and the answer is even simpler, Forgive and Pray.
However, its application in our
life is the toughest part and it might also take time. The deeper the wound the
prolonged will be the healing. Forgiving someone our even our self, for mistakes,
is the most difficult thing to do.
I mean this person, whom we
trusted or liked is now officially a terrible, despicable human being. So how
on earth am I suppose to forgive him or her, or even if I forgive him what
about the pain I suffered- am I suppose to forget all that and have lunch with
them.
The answer is No. Forgiveness does
not mean that I forget all the pain but what it means, that although I have
this pain in me but I will not let it effect me anymore. I will not allow this
person to disappoint/ hurt me over and over again; I will release them from my
memories. Your pain or anger or hatred only hurts you.
When you are angry or in any
painful emotion for a long period of time, it creates a Blind Spot in your body
and that Blind Spot among other illnesses changes into cancer.
So the best way to forgive
someone is, be ready for this! You need to pray for their health, peace and happiness 5 minutes daily for 30 days. By the 31st day if you still
feel bad about them, then it means you need more days. Remember, deeper the illness - the longer will be the
healing.
The moment you feel light tingling
sensation around your heart area, consider it as a sign that forgiveness is
working. The second thing that will happen is, that person and what he or she
did to you would get completely deleted from your memory and when you would
meet them, you might not even remember what happened.
There have been people in my life
that if I had continued to be angry with them, I would have got sick. I decided
to release them from my system by forgiving them and today when I see them, I cannot
even remember what they did and how much their actions traumatized me then.
We do not forgive because we want
to become great human beings, we forgive because we are not suppose to waste
our time and energy on unproductive events or people.
Happy Healing & Best Wishes!
Sonya Syed. (Day 453)
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