Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
I was absolutely energized as I decided to write today’s post but the moment I sat down sudden wave of deep sleep entered and it is only 9 pm. Tomorrow a new day and some new adventures are on their way, irrespective of the outcome I am taking on the challenge and hope to be my best.
I guess this is what should be our modus operandi in every deed, we waste so much of our energy and focus in worrying about the end result, about winning or loosing, and ignoring completely the journey which takes us to that outcome. Everything to us is a means to an end and in this way we reduce the sanctity of all those moments which leads us to the end. So should we not make any goal or think for the future; of course not. We must keep it in our minds whatever we want to achieve nevertheless make it secondary and the journey our primary aim.
Quite a few times I have seen this with me as well as with others that if we get to design something new or do a project or any assignment or even while cooking or doing the dishes. We get so worked up or ill-tempered due to the pressure of work during the working/making period, although we do achieve the desired results with our hard work and intelligence; nevertheless, that result would contain all the earlier negative energies with it and only after a brief time of contentment the same misery would show up ultimately ruining the whole thing.
I am now very careful and fully aware of whatever I do and especially how I am feeling and behaving while doing anything from a simplest household chore to a complicated legal matter because now I know that only being totally present and watching out even for a minute negativity is main deal here.
So dear ones its now time to take your leave…
My love & more...
Sonya. (Day 154)
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