Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Finally I made it to the post today: my comfort zone, my love, few days away from it feels like ages have passed. What do you call this, love or what?
Although currently my new book is also another attraction in my life to which I have currently dedicated my time. I did not even have the faintest idea of how things would turn out to be, how much and what sort of self revelation that book is going to give.
We all live throughout our lives believing whatever we think is true about ourselves but the moment one decides to look beyond the daily drama of our lives, to witness things (past, present or future) merely as an observer without any attachments and simply documenting the data unimagined things pop up not only about us but also the people who have deepest of impacts on our being.
So winter is in full swing and it feels like freezing, but its only me who is going through freeze time since everyone else around me is unable to share the intensity of my cold.
Last time on the blog I was talking about a break from the routine and now I have a long one, though I am not in its favour yet I have to make most of the spare time i have been given.
It is such a luxury to have the time to do your own thing, to read books, to work on ourselves and I give a million thanks to Allah for blessing me with such ease and comfort.
It is such a luxury to have the time to do your own thing, to read books, to work on ourselves and I give a million thanks to Allah for blessing me with such ease and comfort.
Another year is almost coming to an end so much has been learned which I have never expected. I can safely say that I have been reborn or much better reincarnated in the body of Sonya.
My perceptions about myself, about others, my past, my life, my expectations, my failures, my successes are all changed now, nothing is same anymore. It’s all new and unknown, actually nothing on the outside has changed, nevertheless; internally a new building is taking shape with the only difference that this time the foundation is strong and peaceful.
There were moments in my life when I might not have been my most loving and nice self, I cannot change any of that but what I can do now is to learn from all the mistakes I made and be very alert and present that in my new life when I will be given the second chances, I shall make the most of them and that I shall be in my most compassionate state and allow myself the freedom from the same old neurotic pattern.
My perceptions about myself, about others, my past, my life, my expectations, my failures, my successes are all changed now, nothing is same anymore. It’s all new and unknown, actually nothing on the outside has changed, nevertheless; internally a new building is taking shape with the only difference that this time the foundation is strong and peaceful.
There were moments in my life when I might not have been my most loving and nice self, I cannot change any of that but what I can do now is to learn from all the mistakes I made and be very alert and present that in my new life when I will be given the second chances, I shall make the most of them and that I shall be in my most compassionate state and allow myself the freedom from the same old neurotic pattern.
Come to think of it I think I have just stated my new year’s resolution, I hope to stick by it.
Love you all ......Cheers!!!
Love you all ......Cheers!!!
Sonya. (Day 161)
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