Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Before anything I give my sincere
thanks to Dr. Jabeen for all your love and wonderful healing/ reiki which you
have sent my way. I received it and feeling thousand times better now. Thank
you so much.
I decided to treat myself
luxuriously this evening, so I made myself a good cup of coffee with some shami
kabab. It made me think that there is nothing more lavish then to have some
time for yourself where you pamper yourself; maybe watch a good movie or read a
good book, get a new hairstyle. It doesn’t have to expensive material goods
just anything that makes you feel luxurious.
All our lives we wait for someone
or something to make us happy, to show us our true worth or beauty but what we
don’t realize is that first we need to treat our self with compassion and
respect; leaving behind all the attachments or expectations. Nobody wants to
enter a unhappy room but people always love to join the party. So be the party.
Luckily for me on cable they were
showing Blue Streak starring Martin Lawrence, a good comedy with my favorite
actor. His films are mostly comedies or comedy thrillers and are absolutely fun
to watch.
Talking of my favorite actor
yesterday they showed Julia Roberts Eat, Pray, Love. She is my love and I am
crazy about her films. To date she is my most favorite actress. Actually I
liked the idea of Eat, Pray, Love because at the end really this is what’s
important.
Then to add the final touch to my
luxury, today after 12 years I got my dressing table. It wasn’t that I couldn’t
get it; rather it was that I did not know what I needed. Yes it took most of my
life to learn what I actually want, to have the awareness.
I shall take your leave now. Good
Evening!
Sonya. (Day 392)
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