Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Sometimes what we see is
not the truth, and sometimes the truth cannot be seen. Many times we judge
people based on their apparent outlook, we don’t really inquire about the truth,
rather we settle on the evidence of what is presented in front of our eyes.
It was my chemistry class
I believe, there was a group of bright girls in my class. They were always together,
having fun and studying. My only connection with them was our routine greetings,
I always wanted to befriend them but for some reason our acquaintance never
reached a point friendship.
Then one fine day we were
all sitting together, of course no body was talking to me, I opened my favorite
chips packet (Slims, well-known among karachites). Everybody suddenly looked at
me, I offered them my chips and within few seconds we all were chatting and
laughing our lungs out. It seemed as if a wall was broken between us and all
the barriers were removed.
Later the girls told me
that due to my strangely reserved attitude, they all thought that I was a snob and
a weirdo, but as soon as I started to talk and share their opinion about me
changed.
It is not first time that this
has happened but on many occasions people have misjudged me or misinterpreted my quietness.
My behavior sometimes make me a weirdo. The truth is that I am a pure introvert
or may be socially inapt. I actually don’t know how to start a wonderful
conversation or how to make friends, so instead of making a complete fool of
myself I stay quite. If someone else makes the first effort then I am more than
glad to respond.
Two wonderful ladies who
became my best friends, have always launched one similar complaint against me ‘you
dumbo if I hadn’t taken the first step, we would have never became best friends’.
So true, it was them who
talked to me first, visited my home first, shown me the ropes and taught me how
to behave like a civilized person.
Over the time I have been able to develop communication skills, but I am still a work in progress.
In prayers, I shall take
your leave.
Sonya Syed. (Day 503)
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