Skip to main content

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment

Health is wealth

Health is really our true wealth. There is so much truth in this one-liner because when you are not in the best of health then only you realize the essence of this simple sentence. I have been unwell since last Friday, although it was merely plain old over-work accompanied with flu but high fever was the real charmer. Now thankfully I am feeling much better and its only the weakness which now I have to deal with.

It was just bad management of many things that I have taken up on myself to do. I have to realize that I cannot do everything at once, when my poor body was giving me signals to stop and properly coordinate everything I ignored them.

While I was taking rest I thought it is such a luxury to be able to get all the medical help I need, proper care by all family members, the timely nourishing food so I can regain my strength, and especially the fact that I can take a break when ever I need to. Yes bodies can get ill but you have to look deep and find every single thing that you can be grateful for because that gratitude is the best remedy for all our physical and spiritual ailments.

These few days have been strange, every little memory or incident right from my childhood until now played in front of my eyes like a movie. At first I couldn’t understand and thought it was my mind going wild in the high fever, but then having no alternative but to pay attention to that mind movie I realized that it there is consistency and a pattern to all of it.

My mind was trying to bring forth every useless memory so I can observe it and allow it go. Even the TV play that created any sort of negative idea in me was also brought to my conscious awareness. It was very much like when you clean up clutter from the store room, you check the item’s worth before you decide to either throw it or keep it for further use.

As I began to pay attention not only the intensity lessened but my fever began to get controlled as well. Now there are different set of responsibilities/ duties coming my way where I have to consider not only myself but all around me, so I pray to manage my time and energy the best way.

With all my best wishes….

Sonya. (Day 325)    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 January 2019

After fighting with an alien cat in my dream, I am awake at 1.30 am. It all is followed by a futile effort of building a sleep pattern of 9.30 pm to 6 am. Alas, not all wishes come true at once. No problem I will keep on working. Being a really smart gal I have messed up with my sleep-wake cycle long ago, and today when I accidentally opened Rujuta Diwekar’s video on cortisol on my facebook page- I realized what has been going on with me.  For all of you who are not aware that I am a distant relative of Kareena Kapoor Khan and Rujuta is the link who tied  Kareena and me  together. You all must be wondering why have I never discussed this earlier, why I took so long to disclose my bond with Kareena. Let me explain.   Rujuta Diwekar is a God’s blessing for all the fools like me who for some stranger reason believe(ed) that going on USA or UK-based diet programs would make us patla (thin/ lean). It was Rujuta’s eating desi ghee and daal sabzi ch...
40 comments
Read more

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS): What It Actually Feels Like

Wow! It feels nice to be back to my favourite place in the world, my blog, my love. But today it seems that the world has rotated 360 degrees. As I was trying to figure out how to tap into this new world order I thought the best way is to ask my Higher Power to guide me through. And what a better way to do that, other than recite a prayer ‘Dua Istikhara’ a supplication used by Muslims to seek guidance from Allah before making a decision. If we just read the translation of this supplication: “O Allah, I seek guidance from Your knowledge and power and ask You from Your great bounty. Surely, you can do it, and I am not. You know, and I do not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for me in my religion, life, and end, then decree it for me, make it easy, and bless it for me. But if You know that this matter is bad for me, in my religion, my existence, and my end, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, and decree for me what is g...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more