It is so wonderful to come back to the known territories, to talk, to share how it’s been. It is almost a week since I wrote my last post and I apologize for creating confusion with my earlier post. I thank all of you for your concerns that you have dearly shown in your emails, messages and comments. The intention was not to create confusion but to express myself but at the same time not reveal too much of the matter, save to say that it was concerning my work and when the right time would come I might perhaps discuss everything more openly.
Rain has finally reached our soils and the heat & humidity are now allowed to give all of us a break. Although it has not been an intense rainfall but the way climate is shaping up I am sure for there shall be heavy rains.
Has anybody ever the words Quarter-life crisis, well I did today, it’s a crisis young adults go through when they are in their mid-twenties and early thirties and following are some of its characteristics:-
• feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
• confusion of identity
• insecurity regarding the near future
• insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
To my surprise I went through this crisis and the good news is that I survived it and can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life. Now looking back I can clearly see when it started with me, it was in 2004. I had a placement at a law firm and I was learning new things but then all of a sudden I began questioning my decision to be a lawyer, of course the real world was quite different from what I had expected it to be, plus there was a feeling that I somehow let my parents down by not doing enough. Then every six months the questions were different but my underlying condition was the same, I began to read self-help books and the Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters- by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.d., really gave me a perspective but then I relied more and more on religion and intense praying, things got worse in 2006 and by the mid of 2008 I said Enough because I couldn’t take it anymore.
This is when I focused my prayers on chant/mantras to become independent of every emotion, to clear myself from the love and fears related to this world and its people; because something was not right so much attachment to others and tangible objects was not right, I could feel it in my gut. Like any other crisis if this one is handled appropriately it could open up another dimension in one’s life and if it is mishandled then it would lead to turbulent and painful life ahead and a much more harsh mid-life crisis.
This would become an unusually long post so I would write second half of this topic in tomorrow’s post.
Until then my love and Good Night…
Sonya. (Day 98)
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