Day 146

One is unable to comprehend the real value of health until there is an encounter with some indisposition. For some time now I have developed a routine to say gratitude for my health and overall well-being but that is all a verbal exercise because at times I have behaved negligently. And now when I had fallen ill and got well with soar throat and a high fever I could easily understand the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy body. I hope that we all take care of ourselves and treat our immune system with some respect and appreciation.

Lot is going on in my mind these days and its not thinking rather it is unthinking. Whatever has been plastered in my mind since my early childhood to my adult life is pealing out layer by layer, and please do note that I am not going for any sort of psychotherapy; rather I am regularly reciting a combination of Bismillah and Allah’s name for my overall well being & happiness.

As a consequence matters which once were considered dear by me are evaporating; actual worth of past events, people and my own mind set then is becoming clear. The hardest part is not letting go of any human but of the memories which we twist in our minds to suit us so we could cling to them till the eternity; to be quite frank this is neither easy nor my favourite exercises to do. I am getting insecure and lonely without any memories of my past, for so long they have become a part of me and my identity.

At the end of this process what shall be the outcome, and more precisely, what is going to remain and blossom is worth to be seen.

So I cross my fingers in hope and prayer darlings.

Have a healthy and a brilliant weekend….

Sonya. (Day 146)